Sunday, August 9, 2009
Successful Day
I was so proud of our boys today. We went to church, and then directly down to visit with one of Ken's college friends who was in town visiting. This of course meant no nap for the two older boys. We went prepared with a pack-n-play, bc we knew Cooper would never make it, and he needs his crib or pack-n-play to sleep. Granted, we were at a lake, so the boys got to swim the whole time, which is absolutely thier favorite activity, but they were just really well behaved and I was so proud of them. There were alot of other kids there age 5 and under. We really kept an eye on Cooper (once he woke up) to keep him from injuring the other kids. He is really hitting and scratching HARD. Last night, my friend's 4 year old son wouldn't get off her lap bc Cooper had already whooped-up on him. I think our planning ahead helped everything too. At 6:00, after the boys had been swimming for 4 hours straight (literally), I made them get out and eat a hamburger, to avoid a starvation meltdown. And we gave them a 15 minute, and 5 minute warning that we were getting ready to leave. So, no major meltdown when it was time to go. We had only been in the car 10 minutes and Nathanael was completley conked out...and I mean this kid NEVER falls asleep in the car. They definately had a fun day. They had their first boat ride and loved it, so we will try to take them out on the Moss family boat before the summer is over.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Someone else understands
For almost two years now (can you beleive it), we've dealt with Nathanael's ups and downs, and I've tried to verbalize what it's like and how I feel, but I never feel like anyone truly understands. Until now. A friend of mine adopted her son and birth and wrote the following post on her blog. He is older than Nathanael, but she so elequently put into words the feelings I so often have about the cotton-topped cutie at our house. Here it is:
Glimmers of grace
This summer has been stuffed with fun activities that you simply can't do during the school year. Mornings spent harvesting vegetables in the garden, sleepaway camp, educational and fun day camps, trips out for lunch, afternoons playing in the town fountain, and lazy days hanging around the house.But when your child has attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, those activities can be bookended with frustration and meltdowns like twin mountains that seem insurmountable. You want your child to have a fantastic summer that he'll remember forever. Instead, you feel like the biggest failure for pushing him out of his comfort zone and not being able to find your zen space when he pushes back at you.You want him to look forward to meeting new kids and experiencing the types of things you never had the chance to. You make plans and sign paperwork and make 18 copies of his medical record. You fill carts with flash lights, ponchos, sunscreen, water shoes, heavy drawing paper, watercolors, craft kits, sun hats, disposable cameras, and portable snacks. You lay ground work. You talk about the day's plans as though they include a rocket trip to the moon because they are just that fabulous.But inevitably, your child's brain is working against you. His chemical makeup is running the show and you can only shuck and jive for so long before those chemicals catch on to your ruse and slam shut any possibility that your child will walk into new situations willingly and with a good attitude.What you want: Bright eyes and a hopeful smile.What you get: Slammed doors, sucked teeth, tooth brushing that takes 10 minutes, hair brushing that takes longer, constant back talk, pillow fights with invisible enemies in place of getting dressed, streams of negative commentary from the back seat of the car, screwed and scrunched up faces, tears, jerking shoulders, stomping feet, arms and hands that wrench away from you.My son's attention disorder is somewhat controlled with 30 mg of Vyvanse every morning. Before that it was 30 mg of Concerta. But the behaviors above will never completely fade away. They are the good end of the spectrum. They are often the result of my poor planning as much as they are misfiring synapses.Because I know. I KNOW. Some of that could be avoided with careful orchestration. Rather than say we're going to the fountain and then find out the fountain is closed for some type of repair and face the resulting meltdown, I could say we're going for a drive and quietly shove a towel and swim trunks in my bag with my son never the wiser. Rather than say that today is the last day of camp and brave the inevitable tears and stomping when another day of camp rolls around on Monday (albeit for a whole new camp), I could say that today is the last day of THIS camp and Monday starts another.It's just ... hard. It's so incredibly hard to be "on" at all times and constantly weighing my words and actions and anticipating how a statement uttered on Wednesday can rip my morning apart by Monday. It's hard to take those deep breaths and stay calm in the face of an 8 year old storm of watery, angry brown eyes and too-thin lanky limbs.And it shreds us both when I wind up bellowing to the rafters: That's enough! Brush your teeth! Brush your hair! Put your clothes on! Eat your breakfast! WHY ARE YOU CRYING?Or when we're sitting in the rental car office and realize there's no way I can swing us by McDonald's for pancakes and get to camp by 9 am when it's 8:36 am and the rental staff is walking in circles. And I run through my arsenal of negotiations trying to convince him to eat something from his lunch bag and I promise (I promise!) to make it up to him tomorrow morning.But there is "You said!" and "I want pancakes!" and "I'm not eating if it's not pancakes!" and you know the child keeps losing weight and you'd strangle the rental staff if it wouldn't set a bad example and he has to eat something and maybe you can be late to camp but then he'll whimper and fret and worry himself to death over what time it is and why are we always late, Mama and this wouldn't be happening if you didn't make me go to camp, why can't I just stay home with you?! And everyone's watching and you're trying to whisper but it's not working and finally you have to be the bad mother who says: FINE! If you don't eat at least your granola, you won't get pancakes at all this week and you'll NEVER see a McDonald's pancake when I'm around.You know it's out of proportion. You know the people around you are giving each other The Look and shaking their heads because this woman clearly is allowing the tail to wag the dog.But you also know there are really good days. And that when it's over, when all is said and done, he'll emerge from the summer shining and happy. He'll boast to his friends about the time he went all week wearing the same pair of boxers at sleepaway camp, that he can identify compound and simple leaves, that he debuted in his first stage production, that he prefers watercolors to oils, and that king snakes aren't venomous but coral snakes are. He'll be condescending and authoritarian. He'll be decided and proud. He'll be grateful.So most days I just hold on, white knuckled, to that last day of summer when we look back and catch our breath. When we evaluate the past 90 days and wonder where the time went. When we reminisce about what we had and what we wanted and what we got. Most days I just hang in and pray for serenity, pray for tomorrow to be another chance to get it right.And then I have glimmers of grace. I have the precious rare comment, given lightly and likely then forgotten. I have the glimpse of what other parents hear more often. From his art teacher, with rain pouring down outside and my body steaming from trying to be in multiple places at once: He is a joy. He has tremendous talent. I am so impressed by him. You are so lucky.And so I blink back the tears and smile tightly and murmur thanks as I close my eyes and appreciate it. When I open them again, I try to fight back the doubt, the crushing, overwhelming doubt that I am not good enough for him. That I took him from a family who could handle him better and I was wrong. That things would be better for him without me as his mom.But I love him fiercely. And that has to be enough. I did take him. Willingly and with full understanding that our road would be rocky. I don't regret that decision for a minute. I pray for more grace. I pray that I will finally and for good get my shit together so that we have fewer meltdowns. I pray that we will soon learn to move frustration out of the way and allow the fear or nervous energy or excitement to present itself clearly so that we can welcome and work through it.Yes, I packed our summer. And most days our frolicking good time was clouded and marred by poor impulse control, inability to focus, inability to process and deal with a gamut of emotions, and the natural inclination of an extremely smart child to question and push and know. But those glimmers of hope and moments when someone sees past all of that straight into the heart of my child? They are what I'll remember
Glimmers of grace
This summer has been stuffed with fun activities that you simply can't do during the school year. Mornings spent harvesting vegetables in the garden, sleepaway camp, educational and fun day camps, trips out for lunch, afternoons playing in the town fountain, and lazy days hanging around the house.But when your child has attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, those activities can be bookended with frustration and meltdowns like twin mountains that seem insurmountable. You want your child to have a fantastic summer that he'll remember forever. Instead, you feel like the biggest failure for pushing him out of his comfort zone and not being able to find your zen space when he pushes back at you.You want him to look forward to meeting new kids and experiencing the types of things you never had the chance to. You make plans and sign paperwork and make 18 copies of his medical record. You fill carts with flash lights, ponchos, sunscreen, water shoes, heavy drawing paper, watercolors, craft kits, sun hats, disposable cameras, and portable snacks. You lay ground work. You talk about the day's plans as though they include a rocket trip to the moon because they are just that fabulous.But inevitably, your child's brain is working against you. His chemical makeup is running the show and you can only shuck and jive for so long before those chemicals catch on to your ruse and slam shut any possibility that your child will walk into new situations willingly and with a good attitude.What you want: Bright eyes and a hopeful smile.What you get: Slammed doors, sucked teeth, tooth brushing that takes 10 minutes, hair brushing that takes longer, constant back talk, pillow fights with invisible enemies in place of getting dressed, streams of negative commentary from the back seat of the car, screwed and scrunched up faces, tears, jerking shoulders, stomping feet, arms and hands that wrench away from you.My son's attention disorder is somewhat controlled with 30 mg of Vyvanse every morning. Before that it was 30 mg of Concerta. But the behaviors above will never completely fade away. They are the good end of the spectrum. They are often the result of my poor planning as much as they are misfiring synapses.Because I know. I KNOW. Some of that could be avoided with careful orchestration. Rather than say we're going to the fountain and then find out the fountain is closed for some type of repair and face the resulting meltdown, I could say we're going for a drive and quietly shove a towel and swim trunks in my bag with my son never the wiser. Rather than say that today is the last day of camp and brave the inevitable tears and stomping when another day of camp rolls around on Monday (albeit for a whole new camp), I could say that today is the last day of THIS camp and Monday starts another.It's just ... hard. It's so incredibly hard to be "on" at all times and constantly weighing my words and actions and anticipating how a statement uttered on Wednesday can rip my morning apart by Monday. It's hard to take those deep breaths and stay calm in the face of an 8 year old storm of watery, angry brown eyes and too-thin lanky limbs.And it shreds us both when I wind up bellowing to the rafters: That's enough! Brush your teeth! Brush your hair! Put your clothes on! Eat your breakfast! WHY ARE YOU CRYING?Or when we're sitting in the rental car office and realize there's no way I can swing us by McDonald's for pancakes and get to camp by 9 am when it's 8:36 am and the rental staff is walking in circles. And I run through my arsenal of negotiations trying to convince him to eat something from his lunch bag and I promise (I promise!) to make it up to him tomorrow morning.But there is "You said!" and "I want pancakes!" and "I'm not eating if it's not pancakes!" and you know the child keeps losing weight and you'd strangle the rental staff if it wouldn't set a bad example and he has to eat something and maybe you can be late to camp but then he'll whimper and fret and worry himself to death over what time it is and why are we always late, Mama and this wouldn't be happening if you didn't make me go to camp, why can't I just stay home with you?! And everyone's watching and you're trying to whisper but it's not working and finally you have to be the bad mother who says: FINE! If you don't eat at least your granola, you won't get pancakes at all this week and you'll NEVER see a McDonald's pancake when I'm around.You know it's out of proportion. You know the people around you are giving each other The Look and shaking their heads because this woman clearly is allowing the tail to wag the dog.But you also know there are really good days. And that when it's over, when all is said and done, he'll emerge from the summer shining and happy. He'll boast to his friends about the time he went all week wearing the same pair of boxers at sleepaway camp, that he can identify compound and simple leaves, that he debuted in his first stage production, that he prefers watercolors to oils, and that king snakes aren't venomous but coral snakes are. He'll be condescending and authoritarian. He'll be decided and proud. He'll be grateful.So most days I just hold on, white knuckled, to that last day of summer when we look back and catch our breath. When we evaluate the past 90 days and wonder where the time went. When we reminisce about what we had and what we wanted and what we got. Most days I just hang in and pray for serenity, pray for tomorrow to be another chance to get it right.And then I have glimmers of grace. I have the precious rare comment, given lightly and likely then forgotten. I have the glimpse of what other parents hear more often. From his art teacher, with rain pouring down outside and my body steaming from trying to be in multiple places at once: He is a joy. He has tremendous talent. I am so impressed by him. You are so lucky.And so I blink back the tears and smile tightly and murmur thanks as I close my eyes and appreciate it. When I open them again, I try to fight back the doubt, the crushing, overwhelming doubt that I am not good enough for him. That I took him from a family who could handle him better and I was wrong. That things would be better for him without me as his mom.But I love him fiercely. And that has to be enough. I did take him. Willingly and with full understanding that our road would be rocky. I don't regret that decision for a minute. I pray for more grace. I pray that I will finally and for good get my shit together so that we have fewer meltdowns. I pray that we will soon learn to move frustration out of the way and allow the fear or nervous energy or excitement to present itself clearly so that we can welcome and work through it.Yes, I packed our summer. And most days our frolicking good time was clouded and marred by poor impulse control, inability to focus, inability to process and deal with a gamut of emotions, and the natural inclination of an extremely smart child to question and push and know. But those glimmers of hope and moments when someone sees past all of that straight into the heart of my child? They are what I'll remember
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Fruit farm
We totally didn't know we were buying a fruit farm when we bought our new house, but it has turned out to be really great. Ken and I picked figs for quite awhile this afternoon and just barely touched the surface of all the figs! Some of them are so high that we can't get to them. we don't have a ladder high enough. The crop we picked today we washed and froze. There will be more to come. Froze a couple of bags of blueberries today too. They are just about at the end of their peak. And now we have a new fruit! It's some type of grape. I don't know what they are...bigger than a concord grape, purple, with a think skin. You just squeeze the grape a little and the inside comes out and is delicious. Better than the conconrds, I think. the concords really just need to be made into jelly.
While we picked figs, our neighbor, Allen (he's the same age as Ken's parents) rode our boys and his grandsons (ages 2 and 3) around in his goft cart. Oh the boys had a blast. Allen lives next to us, and his grandsons live behind us. It has really been great having them as neighbors!
While we picked figs, our neighbor, Allen (he's the same age as Ken's parents) rode our boys and his grandsons (ages 2 and 3) around in his goft cart. Oh the boys had a blast. Allen lives next to us, and his grandsons live behind us. It has really been great having them as neighbors!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Napless in Sanford
So James has decided that naps aren't for cool kids. So when we pick him up from daycare, his eyes are practically hanging down to his belly button bc he's so exhausted. So we've been having him lay down when he gets home...he completely crashes... therefore missing out on fun and then having to basically eat dinner, and the whole bedtime routine.
Cooper turned 2! Can you believe it?! I just can NOT believe he is TWO! He's really starting to immitate words really well. He is seriously the most precious child in the world. One of his favorite things is to have every pair of shoes put on and off a hundred times. I think it's because he can say "on" and "off" and he actaully gets the response he was looking for. The funniest thing he immitates is his mawmaw and pawpaw yelling at their dogs to hush. They have 2 yapping chiuauas (sp?). When he walks in their door he hollers "shriristomogo!" in a very demanding voice.
And if you can actually believe this...James and Nathanael are really and truly riding thier bikes without training wheels!!! At 3 1/2, Nathanael, our daredevil decides he's done with the pansey-ass training wheels. He took off across the yard like it was nothing. So then big brother James decides to try it and he could do it too! I'm seriously amazed. Don't get me wrong, they still fall, but they just hop right back up and go again!
Cooper turned 2! Can you believe it?! I just can NOT believe he is TWO! He's really starting to immitate words really well. He is seriously the most precious child in the world. One of his favorite things is to have every pair of shoes put on and off a hundred times. I think it's because he can say "on" and "off" and he actaully gets the response he was looking for. The funniest thing he immitates is his mawmaw and pawpaw yelling at their dogs to hush. They have 2 yapping chiuauas (sp?). When he walks in their door he hollers "shriristomogo!" in a very demanding voice.
And if you can actually believe this...James and Nathanael are really and truly riding thier bikes without training wheels!!! At 3 1/2, Nathanael, our daredevil decides he's done with the pansey-ass training wheels. He took off across the yard like it was nothing. So then big brother James decides to try it and he could do it too! I'm seriously amazed. Don't get me wrong, they still fall, but they just hop right back up and go again!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Sorry, sideways....Here's Nathanael at Deopt Park in downtown Sanford. It's one of the boys' favorite places. He's climbing on the train
When Mimi came to vistg last week, she brought really cool art supplies that the boys thouroughly enjoyed.
This is one of Cooper's favorite spots - sitting on his daddy's foot and getting a horsey ride.Nathanael has done great at daycare the past 1 1/2 weeks. It could be several things...we've started back brushing him faithfully twice a day. He has a new teacher (we'll see when the newness wears off), we've taken him swimming several times a week - giving him lots of time to get his energy out, he sleeps under "Mimi's snuggly", the weighted blanket my mom got him, which he loves...so, just not sure what it is, but we sure are enjoying the good reports from daycare.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Some pics - finally!
James is tall enough to ride the swings! Familu fun day at our church two weeks ago.
Cool dude Nathanael with daddy's sunglasses
Seriously? Is a little boy allowed to be this cute? Cooper will be 2 this month!Monday, June 22, 2009
Blueberries
Holy blueberries, batman!! So, we've moved to our new home. Life has been crazy hectic with packing and moving and unpacking and all that goes with it. The boys love the new house, they each have their own bedroom, a playroom, a big hallway to run up and down. And the back porch is wonderful. Actually, the whole propoerty is great. We have enough blueberry bushes for all of Sanford. Tonight we all went out to one bush that gets full sun and we picked for probably an hour...not a single blueberry made it back to the house. The boys ate them all. They were blue from ear to ear. I'll be making blueberry muffins, pancakes, syrup, anything I can come up with. We also have a huge tree we can eat straight off of, and the boys love those too. We have grape vines out the ying yang...they won't be ready to pick for awhile. And we have several pecan trees. I think we are going to make alot of great memories here!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
What a weekend!
How did I manage to get through this whole weekend with no pictures!! Please, anyone who took some...send my way! This weekend we had the boys celebration for the adoptions being final. Friends and family came in town for the shin-dig, and friends from Sanford too. Of course we had some of the boys' friends over, so we had a pinata and a bouncy house. It was hotter than you know what, so we added ice cream to the fun. I hope all the kids had fun - they seemed to. I know our boys had fun - they want another adoption party. Sorry guys! Then Sunday we had the boys dedicated at church, which was really nice. Ken's parents, bro, sister in law, aunt, neices and nephews came, as well as my mom and step-dad. The boys were sorely disappointed when all the excitement was over this afternoon. Back to the old grind...
Small world story...so my aewsome friend Jill from high school came with her kids, her mom, and her sister and her kids. Jill lives in TN, her mom in WV, and her sister Jenni lives in Winston-Salem. The night before they came, Jenni was telling her neighbor across the street that she was going to a party for this family down near Sanford that had adopted 3 boys..... and her neighbor says, "are you talking about Meg Galperin?" How crazy is that!? It was Caroline Barrett! Caroline is Robin's best friend from growing up.
So, if I get some pics (I know my step-mom took a bunch), I'll post asap.
Small world story...so my aewsome friend Jill from high school came with her kids, her mom, and her sister and her kids. Jill lives in TN, her mom in WV, and her sister Jenni lives in Winston-Salem. The night before they came, Jenni was telling her neighbor across the street that she was going to a party for this family down near Sanford that had adopted 3 boys..... and her neighbor says, "are you talking about Meg Galperin?" How crazy is that!? It was Caroline Barrett! Caroline is Robin's best friend from growing up.
So, if I get some pics (I know my step-mom took a bunch), I'll post asap.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
You go, James!
Okay, so here's my chance to brag on my Jamsey-poo. He got into big boy school! There is a pre-K in Sanford that has 1/2 four-year olds with disabilities and 1/2 four-years olds who are developing typically. Kids "try out" (they call it screening, but what can they really know in a 30 minute screening?) and they try to determine who will be the best role models for the children with disabilities. James got picked! How cool is that! I guess he did use his "pleases and thank yous"! He'll start next school year, which is great because he and Nathanael would have had to be in the same class at daycare. This pre-K is a little more like kindergarten. He'll go to the cafeteria for lunch, have gym class and art class. But, he'll still get to take a nap, play on the playground alot, and other typical 4 year old stuff. Best of all, it's cheaper than daycare! And the child to teacher ratio is 1:5. The daycare regulations are 1:15 once they turn 3. Can you imagine having 15 three year olds by yourself all day! Augh!! Anyway, James is super excited and I'm super proud.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Tired
Cooper has barely slept through the night since he had surgery. He is really hard to put down...used to hold him for a few mintues and then lay him down and he might cry for 5 minutes max. Now, you hold him till he's all the way asleep and as soon as you make a move for the crib he grabs onto you and starts screaming bloody murder, like "put me down and I'll just die!". This goes on for about 1/2 hour. Last night, he was so tired he fell asleep immediatley, no crying at all...but about 2:00 AM he woke up and the screaming commensed. Oh my gosh...did it commense. I finally gave in after an hour and put him in bed with us. I was too tired... I can't wait for his follow up visit.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Update
Well, I finally signed up for Facebook and that thing is a little addicitive, so I haven't had time to Facebook and post on the blog! Things have been hectic around here. We just got finished with a big accreditation thing at work, thank the lord it is over! Cooper had tubes put in his ears last Thursday, as well as having his adnoids out. He's been pretty pitiful the last few days. He perked up a bit today, but is not eating/drinking much, so that concerns me a little - if you know Cooper, you know he loves his food!! Nathanael's Occupational Therapy is going really well. It's a matter of Ken and I making sure we keep up with his 'brushing' sessions. We have a brush that we briush his whole body with 3 times a day, and then we compress his major joints. The compressions are supposed to simulate gross motor (like jumping). I don't really understand the whole thing, I know it has to do with his problems with his sesnory delays, but all i know is...it is helping a lot! The first week, he was like a completley different child. So James is acting up a little...both his brothers are getting lots of attention, and it's so hard to even it all out, and make sure they all know that we love them the same. Cooper is wanting to do more and more things with his brothers, but still pulling their hair and grabbing at their faces, which makes them so mad! We can definately tell Cooper is hearing better since the surgery...no new words really, but he can hear for sure, and is trying to imitate some sounds, so that's all very promising.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Last few weeks
We've had a busy few weeks. Last week, we had snow...not regular NC sprinkle snow, but like 6 inches!! Of course there was no work or daycare for 2 days, so we bundled up the boys and hit the slopes, uh, I mean, our back yard. They LOVED sledding! The 2nd day was even better bc the snow had packed down and was a little more wet, so they could go faster and further. Cooper enjoyed himself until snow got under his gloves and then he was miserable, so his snow adventure wasn't as long lived.Of course, now all three boys are sick. I swear I bundled them up! Cooper has a double ear infection (again!) and James and Nathanael woke up about 2:00 this morning coughing, sneezing, etc. I ended up sleeping with James in the reecliner because he couldn't breathe. Thank the lord for my in-laws. They kept them today, I really couldn't miss work.
And, James turned 4 and Nathanael turned 3!! We just had the family over for dinner, cake and ice cream. Of course for the boys, cake was the whole point.
I think Cooper liked the cake the best!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!
The adoption decree was signed and sealed by the judge on January 12, 2009!!!!!!!
James Conrad, Nathanael Reid and Cooper Dawson are and alwyas will be a part of the Moss family!!!!
James Conrad, Nathanael Reid and Cooper Dawson are and alwyas will be a part of the Moss family!!!!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
LUCK
I guess you can call it that. Our house has been on the market less than 4 weeks. One person looked at it, and made an offer we accepted. How crazy is that! We expected it to take at least a year! We so totally have not found a house we like...we're probably going to rent somewhere. We definately don't want to settle on a house. We love our current house, just moving so we'll be in a school district closer to work/church/Ken's parents. Right now we are over the county line, which would mean lots of inconvenience once the boys start school. So, the mad house hunt begins. James wanted to know how we were going to take the pond with us. Oh, to be a kid again!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Catch Up
Christmas was a whirlwind! The boys had a great time from beginning to end, with both sets of grandparents, bikes from Santa and chocolate to their hearts delight!
But really, I have to blog about our social butterfly Nathanael, who talks to anyone he sees. He usually starts with 'what's your name?' Normal. But oh no...he came out with a whopper in the line at the grocery store yesturday. Cooper was sitting in the seat facing me, and James and Nathanael were sitting in the "car" at the front of the cart, facing forward. In the line next to us was a teenage boy bagging groceries. And Nathanael looks at him directly in the eye and clear as a bell asks "Why you got worms on yo head?" How could I not bust out laughing!!! Luckily, the guy took it in good humor and just told him it was his hair (dreadlocks), not worms.
But really, I have to blog about our social butterfly Nathanael, who talks to anyone he sees. He usually starts with 'what's your name?' Normal. But oh no...he came out with a whopper in the line at the grocery store yesturday. Cooper was sitting in the seat facing me, and James and Nathanael were sitting in the "car" at the front of the cart, facing forward. In the line next to us was a teenage boy bagging groceries. And Nathanael looks at him directly in the eye and clear as a bell asks "Why you got worms on yo head?" How could I not bust out laughing!!! Luckily, the guy took it in good humor and just told him it was his hair (dreadlocks), not worms.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Anyone Else?
Am I the only parent that blames themselves for everything? Cooper's evaluation came back from the CDSA (the Infant Toddler program in our area that deals with developmental delays) and it shows he has a 6-9 month delay in speach and 3-6 month delay in language comprehension. They seem to think there is an auditory processing problem more than a hearing issue. Basically, he can hear what we say, but it doesn't process correctly...so if I say "shoes", he hears something like "cumquats". They did not rule out a hearing problem though, so he has to have an audiologist exam. After the new year, he will start speach therapy once a week, and also community-based rehab services that focus more on object identification and sign language. I can't help but to feel like I should have call the CDSA earlier when we were worried about his lack of speach. We did have him evaluated at 3 months, but he tested normally. I just wonder if I should have spent more time trying to get him to say sounds and stuff if that would have helped. I just thought he would pick it up from his brothers. It's just really distressing.
And then Nathanael's "fits". Can he control them, or is it a lack of impulse control or what? The CDSA recommended he get a psychological evaluation and do to a sensory clinic for an eval. The sensory clinic will see if responds better to different things (I think). It's like...does he literally HAVE to scream in order to feel better...like a baby who can't console themselves without a pacifier.
At least we got alot of resource possibilities, and hopefully everything will work out well. In the meantime, my head hurts.
And then Nathanael's "fits". Can he control them, or is it a lack of impulse control or what? The CDSA recommended he get a psychological evaluation and do to a sensory clinic for an eval. The sensory clinic will see if responds better to different things (I think). It's like...does he literally HAVE to scream in order to feel better...like a baby who can't console themselves without a pacifier.
At least we got alot of resource possibilities, and hopefully everything will work out well. In the meantime, my head hurts.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Bloggin
So, I haven't blogged in awhile bc I haven't really had anything to blog about, and I still don't, but decided I'd at least write about what we've been up to. Our house is on the market. Anyone out there looking for a 3 bedroom double-wide on 8 acres of beauty, let me know. Don't let the double-wide scare you off...the wheels are no longer under the house...and you're only a redneck if you can actually drive your house off the lot!! It's hard to think about leaving this place, it is so peaceful and quiet and there's tons of room to play. But really the reasons we're wanting to move is so the boys will be in a school district closer to where we work/go to church/Ken's parents. But, we also want each boy to have their own room, and we are keeping hope alive that one day, Anna may get to be with us. We looked at several houses this weekend, but nothing we loved in our price range. There was this one house that reminded me alot of my aunt Phyllis' cabin in WV. It had this awesome screened in porch looking out in the woods, and just across the lot was access to a private lake where you can fish and swim and canoe. It also has a double garage that Ken really wants. Unfortunatley, it's about $30K out of our price range. Darn money... doesn't it grow on trees anymore? We'll keep looking.
Tonight was one of those totally spastic nights. I went to the grocery store after work and when I got home, the boys had just finished eating and Cooper was crying and crying and crying. The only time he would stop is if I picked him up. Ken and I were trying to put away groceries, and of course Nathanael and James want to help. So the boys are hollering "where does this go?!", Cooper is whailing for whatever reason, and I was just like "oh my god, someone turn it down!". A night in the life of the Moss family. Anyway, Ken got Cooper interested in listening to letter sounds (we're supposed to try and get himn to move his mouth/cheeks in different shapes), and I got James and Nathanael into the shower. We don't do showers real often, but it was already getting late, and it's just faster. After pajamas, a story, telling daddy goodnight, and tuck--ins, we moved on to getting Cooper's eardrops in. That's fun. Poor little guy has double ear infections again (maybe that was what all the crying was about?)
Tonight was one of those totally spastic nights. I went to the grocery store after work and when I got home, the boys had just finished eating and Cooper was crying and crying and crying. The only time he would stop is if I picked him up. Ken and I were trying to put away groceries, and of course Nathanael and James want to help. So the boys are hollering "where does this go?!", Cooper is whailing for whatever reason, and I was just like "oh my god, someone turn it down!". A night in the life of the Moss family. Anyway, Ken got Cooper interested in listening to letter sounds (we're supposed to try and get himn to move his mouth/cheeks in different shapes), and I got James and Nathanael into the shower. We don't do showers real often, but it was already getting late, and it's just faster. After pajamas, a story, telling daddy goodnight, and tuck--ins, we moved on to getting Cooper's eardrops in. That's fun. Poor little guy has double ear infections again (maybe that was what all the crying was about?)
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thankful for five
I had a total meltdown today. Last night, when we hadn’t even gotten a phone call from social services about Anna (court was yesterday), we knew we weren’t getting her. But it wasn’t until noon today that I finally got a hold of the social worker. She was very non-chalant about that whole thing, which I think just made it worse. She said the parents admitted to not providing adequate housing for Anna, but that they want to get her back. They did show up for the last 2 visits and passed a drug screen. The dad has a part time job. They told the judge they wanted to move to SANFORD because jobs were better there. Pile that on top of everything. Because of all that, Anna has to stay in foster care and see if the parents follow through. The next court date is in 90 days.
I was at work, so of course I had to hold it together. Then I went to pick up the boys, and I had to hold it together. I was holding back tears all day. When I got to the daycare, one of the teachers walked up to the car and said “oh you’re in for it today”…meaning Nathanael had one of his behaviorally challenged days. Then the fire alarm goes off. All the kids pile outside and the director said she was at her whits end at trying to control his rage, so she pulled the alarm, knowing Nathanael is scared to death of it. It calmed him down all right, till he saw me glaring down at him. Needless to say, we are also at a loss as to what to do with him. What sets him off? He goes from precious to pain in the butt in 0.2 seconds. Needless to say, I lost it in the car. I knew Ken was out doing a side job, so I just drove over to my in-laws to see if they could watch the boys for a few minutes while I sulked in my own patheticness. I know there are people who don’t have any children and would be so thankful for any kids…and I AM SOOO thankful for the boys. Even Nathanael on his bad days. My life has changed in so many ways and they bring so much to my life. I guess it’s the having your hopes up for another baby and then not getting her that’s so hard.
I was at work, so of course I had to hold it together. Then I went to pick up the boys, and I had to hold it together. I was holding back tears all day. When I got to the daycare, one of the teachers walked up to the car and said “oh you’re in for it today”…meaning Nathanael had one of his behaviorally challenged days. Then the fire alarm goes off. All the kids pile outside and the director said she was at her whits end at trying to control his rage, so she pulled the alarm, knowing Nathanael is scared to death of it. It calmed him down all right, till he saw me glaring down at him. Needless to say, we are also at a loss as to what to do with him. What sets him off? He goes from precious to pain in the butt in 0.2 seconds. Needless to say, I lost it in the car. I knew Ken was out doing a side job, so I just drove over to my in-laws to see if they could watch the boys for a few minutes while I sulked in my own patheticness. I know there are people who don’t have any children and would be so thankful for any kids…and I AM SOOO thankful for the boys. Even Nathanael on his bad days. My life has changed in so many ways and they bring so much to my life. I guess it’s the having your hopes up for another baby and then not getting her that’s so hard.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Evenings at the Moss household
My Boyz....
Fun with Hats...
Fun with Hats... Turns Dance Party...
Where did Nathanael learn that move?!
Where did Nathanael learn that move?!Sunday, November 9, 2008
Long Day
I have to say, this has been one of those days with a 3, 2 and 1 year old. James and Nathanael fought all day today, they simply could not share, could not play together...it was an exhausting day of enforcing turn-taking, 'organizing' playtime, go to your room to calm down, etc, etc...and on top of all that, little Cooper is teething like crazy. Fussy, crying, drooling, just pitiful. But dispite it all, at the end of the day when I put James and Nathanael to bed...we had our regular routine, and I lay down with each of them for about 5 or 10 minutes. Even though I felt like Ken and I had been fussing the boys out all day, James still wanted me to sing to him - Amazing Grace, the Good Night song, Jesus Loves Me, the pancake song, the sausage song, etc... And Nathanael babbled his random assortment of thoughts that only a mommy could understand. (How could a space ship, a man that fell off a ladder, a brain, fire ants and a monster all make sense in one story?) It was awfully sweet. Now they are asleep and it will start all over again tomorrow.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
"Moss, Party of Six"
So, we've decided to jump on in! The tentative plan is that Anna will come to our home in mid-December. Right now, she is with a foster family in Cumberland County that fosters infants until they find a placement. Ken and I wanted to wait until after the first court date to make a decision (wanted to make sure the court wasn't going to give anna right back). The parents did not show up for court, or have they shown up for a visit with her in the last 3 weeks. The first trial date is November 24th, where Social Services will switch Anna's placement to be with us, since we have the siblings. That's the time the parents will get their 'to do' list to regain visitiations with her. So...we have a long process in front of us. Of course, once we get her, we'll want to keep her, and I hope it all works out for the best. We've talked to the boys about it a little bit...I asked James and Nathanael how they would feel about another baby in the house, and James said "2 babies...?" Anna is only 11 months younger than Cooper, so yes, 2 babies. She will be 6 months on December 16th and Cooper will turn 17 months on December 14th. I don't know if we'll have to call her Anna (probably) or if we can go ahead and call her by a name of our choosing (which will be Katie Ann once we do get to choose!)... short for Katherine Ann. This is my Muzzy's name, exect with a K for my aunt Kathy. Also, my mom's name is Ann. If it were up to James and Nate, they want to call her Sally...well, the girl car in the Lighting McQueen movie is Sally, so why wouldn't they choose that name. It's hilarious bc that was my favorite name when I was little! i had a pet guinea pig that I named Sally after my cousin who I thought was SO cool.
I hadn't blogged about it yet, because I still felt a little unsure that this was all going to happen, but I talked to our social worker yesterday, and she is coming out to re-license our home for 4 children, and she said there is no way we won't get her since we have the siblings. I believe her words were "oh yeah, you'll get that baby. NC wants siblings together, that judge will be giving her to you." So, that made me feel better. Anna's social worker is, thank God, the same foster worker that the boys had. She said just to hold off on buying anything pink until the Nov 24th court date...that is SO hard to do!!!
I hadn't blogged about it yet, because I still felt a little unsure that this was all going to happen, but I talked to our social worker yesterday, and she is coming out to re-license our home for 4 children, and she said there is no way we won't get her since we have the siblings. I believe her words were "oh yeah, you'll get that baby. NC wants siblings together, that judge will be giving her to you." So, that made me feel better. Anna's social worker is, thank God, the same foster worker that the boys had. She said just to hold off on buying anything pink until the Nov 24th court date...that is SO hard to do!!!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Ouch
Nathanael had a rough day! He was having a bit of a tantrum at daycare and swung a pretty heavy toy up overhead and the momentum threw him forward and he tripped and hit his head on the tile floor. Apparetnly it sounded just awful when he hit bc the teacher called for the director and was kinda freaked out. For the next hour, he sat pitifully on Betty Lou's lap crying for mommmy. Well, dumb mommy didn't charge her cell phone last night, so the daycare couldn't get ahold of me. Ken's cell doesn't work where he works, so it was a good hour before they got ahold of Ken. Anyway, I met Ken at the daycare and Nathanael looked terrible. Just pale and lethargic and crying. I picked him up and he was just limp. He couldn't keep his eyes open, I kept trying to rouse him. We decided to take him to the urgent care, but two minutes into the car ride (I was sitting in the back right next to him trying to keep him awake and not crying too much), he massively puked all over me. Ken whipped the car around and flew to the emergancy room instead. They took us right in and long story short - he has a mild concusion (sp?). Luckily, they said it was okay for him to go to sleep, which he immediately did once I stopped pestering him. They did a CAT scan, and thank goodness he was lathargic at that point, bc he would've been so scared. They let me kinda lay on top of him to hold his head still and they told me to tell him we were going in a space ship, which worked. He thought it was pretty cool. There was no bleeding in the brain - thank you God. Ken teased Nathanael saying it was so good to know that he DOES have a brain in there! So, he was just pitiful for several more hours. They told us to wake him up every 2 hours and to bring him back if he threw up again, which he thankfully didn't.
A day in the life of parents with three little boys.
A day in the life of parents with three little boys.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Updates
James at the Lee County Fair. He LOVED the rides.
Cooper with daddy. He has grown so much!!
I was trying to get a picture of the three boys together, but nothing worked, so Nathanael and James resorted to tickling their little man.
We took a trip to the River in WV a few months ago. Here is Nathanael and Mimi toasting marshmellows.
Sorry I have not posted in so long. Just a little update on the boys:
Cooper with daddy. He has grown so much!!
I was trying to get a picture of the three boys together, but nothing worked, so Nathanael and James resorted to tickling their little man.
We took a trip to the River in WV a few months ago. Here is Nathanael and Mimi toasting marshmellows.
Sorry I have not posted in so long. Just a little update on the boys:Cooper is growing SO much!!! I can't believe it. He is soooo cute and happy. He's walking a mile a minute - still falling alot. He's not talking yet - just dada. The day he said mama was a flute - he's never said it again. We are going to have him checked out for that. A lady at out church is some kind of oral specialist with at risk kids and she said that because he didn't swallow solids until late, and he's not talking yet, he may have underdeveloped oral muscles, which is also what his regular doctor said. The lady at church also said that as cute as his fat cheeks are, they really are "hangiing fat pads" that should not still be drooping so much. So, nothing major, he'll just be a late talker probably.
Nathanael is not really growing...well, he's grown about an inch up, but still wieghs 28 pounds. He's 2 years, 9 months and wears a size 24 monthss in pants. He's my itty bitty blondie - full of vivation, spunk, attitude and creativity.
James is getting to be a big boy! Physically and just in general. He rarely has toddler tantrums, he listens (for the most part), he helps his little brothers, etc. Even though he has recently started a little rebellious streak, he's still a mama's boy. Now though, he choses to go work on the race car with daddy instead of staying home with me.
As for baby Anna...I will leave that for another blog entry.
We have been house hunting for something with more than the 3 bedrooms we currently have. The boys LOVE to look at houses - it's so funny!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Dilemma
This was the vocabulary word of the day on some cartoon we were watching...and boy, do we have one. Social Services called on Friday to let us know the boys' biolgoical sister, Anna, has been taken into custody, is in emergancy foster care, and can we take her? PS...want an answer by Monday. Ken and I kinda freaked over the weekend, so conflicted. Deep down, I want her so bad, but we do have to think about some realities - like how the boys would react mainly. I called the social worker today to tell her we really needed a little more time to make a decision, and she said it was fine, and maybe even better. She said Anna (3 months) is in a really good foster home, and that the bio parents will go to court again in 37 days. At that point, we will have a better gauge on whether or not the parents have even made an attempt to get a job/housing. It would be terrible to bring her in the house and her have to go back...bad for us, bad for the boys. In the meantime, we talked to our pastor about it and he gave us some good advice on decision making. According to the social worker, Anna has plumped up (she was 5 pounds at birth). She has a round face like Cooper, light skin (not as light as Nathanael), and light brown hair that is "crazy like Nathanael's".
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Happy One Year Anniversary to the Expanded Moss Family
Let's take a look back one year....Sept 9, 2007...I'd had a good night sleep, woke up around 7...slothed through the morning, had a full day at work, headed to the gym for about an hour, came home and had a bowl of ceral for dinner, watched tv on the couch...then the next day...Sept 10, 2007...my stomach was in knots knowing the boys were coming that day. I left work early to come home and make sure everything was ready. I cooked an actual dinner, and Ken and I welcomed James and Nathanael home. Dinner mostly ended up on the floor, and bath time was more like 'soak the entire bathroom' time, and bedtime, well, I rocked, sang, re-tucked in, etc for at least an hour. Then I held Nate, walked him, bounced him (remembering he was 19 months at this point), gave him a 2nd bottle, tryed to console his blood curdling screams, and finally collapsed at almost midnight. About 2 am I was back up bc James woke up and was scared to death...I ran into the bedroom and he was on his knees sobbing. I held him and rocked him back to sleep.
Fast forward a year...Sept 10, 2008. Cooper wakes at 5:30 with a little whine, I give him a bottle. James and Nathanael crawl into our bed about 6:00 to wake me up. We go through the morning routine of dressing, teeth brushing, getting into the van and to daycare, then me off to work. After work, I came right home and daddy cooked dinner while I built block castles with the 3 boys. Other than the regular reminders toddlers need, dinner was quiet. The boys sat in their seats, didn't try to eat off the floor, said prayers before they started eating, and even asked to be excused. Bed time was us reading books, taking baths (James first, then Nathanael and Cooper), tuck ins, I sang my round of: "Good Night (from camp alleghany), Amazing Grace and Jesus Loves Me. Gave James and Nathanael their good night hugs and kisses. Meanwhile, Cooper fell asleep in the playpin. All is quiet at 8:45 pm.
Don't get me wrong, I now have to get sippy cups and bottles ready for tomorrow, pick out 4 outfits and pack the diaper bag, but that's just part of daily life!
What a difference a year makes!!
Fast forward a year...Sept 10, 2008. Cooper wakes at 5:30 with a little whine, I give him a bottle. James and Nathanael crawl into our bed about 6:00 to wake me up. We go through the morning routine of dressing, teeth brushing, getting into the van and to daycare, then me off to work. After work, I came right home and daddy cooked dinner while I built block castles with the 3 boys. Other than the regular reminders toddlers need, dinner was quiet. The boys sat in their seats, didn't try to eat off the floor, said prayers before they started eating, and even asked to be excused. Bed time was us reading books, taking baths (James first, then Nathanael and Cooper), tuck ins, I sang my round of: "Good Night (from camp alleghany), Amazing Grace and Jesus Loves Me. Gave James and Nathanael their good night hugs and kisses. Meanwhile, Cooper fell asleep in the playpin. All is quiet at 8:45 pm.
Don't get me wrong, I now have to get sippy cups and bottles ready for tomorrow, pick out 4 outfits and pack the diaper bag, but that's just part of daily life!
What a difference a year makes!!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Update
The Lord knows just when you need a little lift. When I dropped the boys off at daycare, I got to talking to Betty Lou, who is the director. She told me about the last time the social worker came to visit and how they talked about what a compassionate child Nathanael is. She said he's just so loving and caring and he really worries about things...like if someone's boo-boo is okay. She said they talked about the problems he has now, but that he'll turn out to be just fine.
On James' hand, they said he's a good boy - he listens and does what is told, etc, no behavior problems, but he is not as compassionate or outwardly loving as Nathanael, and it may (or may not) be because James may have memories of his early childhood...maybe not specific memories, but just "feelings" he remembers or associates with certain situations.
Anyway, it was nice to hear Betty Lou's thoughts on Nathanael.
On James' hand, they said he's a good boy - he listens and does what is told, etc, no behavior problems, but he is not as compassionate or outwardly loving as Nathanael, and it may (or may not) be because James may have memories of his early childhood...maybe not specific memories, but just "feelings" he remembers or associates with certain situations.
Anyway, it was nice to hear Betty Lou's thoughts on Nathanael.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Lord, grant us the patience...
Nothing major to report...just the same ol routine around the Moss circus. But I tell you what, God must have invented 2 year olds so that for the REST OF THEIR LIFE, you can say to yourself, "well, at least he's not two anymore." Our Nate Reid is precious, oh so precious with his giggles and smiles. We've ruled out deafness, so it's definately a case of "I'm not gonna listen, I don't care if I lose my pride, I will do it MYSELF!!"
On the brighter side of life, Cooper is ALMOST walking. He's taken a few steps here and there, but he gets too excited and starts laughin and falls down. It's too cute! James is starting to learn to trace lines, I'm so proud of him, I didn't realize how hard that is when you're 3. Nathanael is definatley picking up on colors. He gets them right about 75% of the time now. The first time he told me the ball was pink, I practically threw myself on him with hugs and kisses and "mommy is so proud of yous". Everytime any of the boys learns something new, I get so excited! It's amazing how much they learn in such a short time.
So, despite the blonde monster ruling the house, we are all hanging in there. Nathanael makes Cooper laugh so hard. Cooper can be fussing about whatever, and Nate will put his face up to Coop's, and laugh, or scream, or just make a funny face, and Cooper will start belly rolling. Those are the moments to live for.
On the brighter side of life, Cooper is ALMOST walking. He's taken a few steps here and there, but he gets too excited and starts laughin and falls down. It's too cute! James is starting to learn to trace lines, I'm so proud of him, I didn't realize how hard that is when you're 3. Nathanael is definatley picking up on colors. He gets them right about 75% of the time now. The first time he told me the ball was pink, I practically threw myself on him with hugs and kisses and "mommy is so proud of yous". Everytime any of the boys learns something new, I get so excited! It's amazing how much they learn in such a short time.
So, despite the blonde monster ruling the house, we are all hanging in there. Nathanael makes Cooper laugh so hard. Cooper can be fussing about whatever, and Nate will put his face up to Coop's, and laugh, or scream, or just make a funny face, and Cooper will start belly rolling. Those are the moments to live for.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Ma Ma
He said it - for real...not just a fluke, Cooper really called me ma ma ma ma ma!!!! How cute! And he waved for the first time tonight. Like the "bye-bye" wave. He's never done that before either. He's growing up so much. Cooper absolutely HATES to have his diaper and clothes changed and HATES to have his face wiped off. He screams bloody murder and wiggles and flips over and throws his head back...anything but to have his clothes put on in the morning. Makes things a little difficult. But as soon as the last button is done, he's a happy camper. He's trying to play more and more with his big brothers, who have been really good about it - except when Cooper grabs their hair.
James is just a good boy (as good a s a 3 year old can be). He's just very sweet. I love getting his hugs when Ken gets him home from daycare, or when I get home from work...he makes me feel so special because he runs to me to get his hugs and kisses. He's recently been voicing his concern about the monsters at his granny's house - not sure what that's about. I'm always worried about what he might remember, and if he's confused. I love when I have alone time with him, like if I take him to the grocery store - just the two of us.
After about 2 weeks of daycare madness for Nathanael, things are calming down a little. It's inevitable, no one will ever love him like I do. He is so very hyper, I can totally understand any daycare worker getting frustrated and exhausted with him. But like I told him, when he hits and kicks people, they can't see all the sugary sweetness that Jesus put in him. At church, Nathanael sings, claps and raises his hands in praise...not that he knows the words, mind you, he's singing his own tune, but he knows he's singing to Jesus. We've had so many people comment to us about how precious he is during praise and worship. Maybe I should ask them to help me put him down for a nap in the afternoon!! But truly, he IS precious.
James is just a good boy (as good a s a 3 year old can be). He's just very sweet. I love getting his hugs when Ken gets him home from daycare, or when I get home from work...he makes me feel so special because he runs to me to get his hugs and kisses. He's recently been voicing his concern about the monsters at his granny's house - not sure what that's about. I'm always worried about what he might remember, and if he's confused. I love when I have alone time with him, like if I take him to the grocery store - just the two of us.
After about 2 weeks of daycare madness for Nathanael, things are calming down a little. It's inevitable, no one will ever love him like I do. He is so very hyper, I can totally understand any daycare worker getting frustrated and exhausted with him. But like I told him, when he hits and kicks people, they can't see all the sugary sweetness that Jesus put in him. At church, Nathanael sings, claps and raises his hands in praise...not that he knows the words, mind you, he's singing his own tune, but he knows he's singing to Jesus. We've had so many people comment to us about how precious he is during praise and worship. Maybe I should ask them to help me put him down for a nap in the afternoon!! But truly, he IS precious.
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