I had a total meltdown today. Last night, when we hadn’t even gotten a phone call from social services about Anna (court was yesterday), we knew we weren’t getting her. But it wasn’t until noon today that I finally got a hold of the social worker. She was very non-chalant about that whole thing, which I think just made it worse. She said the parents admitted to not providing adequate housing for Anna, but that they want to get her back. They did show up for the last 2 visits and passed a drug screen. The dad has a part time job. They told the judge they wanted to move to SANFORD because jobs were better there. Pile that on top of everything. Because of all that, Anna has to stay in foster care and see if the parents follow through. The next court date is in 90 days.
I was at work, so of course I had to hold it together. Then I went to pick up the boys, and I had to hold it together. I was holding back tears all day. When I got to the daycare, one of the teachers walked up to the car and said “oh you’re in for it today”…meaning Nathanael had one of his behaviorally challenged days. Then the fire alarm goes off. All the kids pile outside and the director said she was at her whits end at trying to control his rage, so she pulled the alarm, knowing Nathanael is scared to death of it. It calmed him down all right, till he saw me glaring down at him. Needless to say, we are also at a loss as to what to do with him. What sets him off? He goes from precious to pain in the butt in 0.2 seconds. Needless to say, I lost it in the car. I knew Ken was out doing a side job, so I just drove over to my in-laws to see if they could watch the boys for a few minutes while I sulked in my own patheticness. I know there are people who don’t have any children and would be so thankful for any kids…and I AM SOOO thankful for the boys. Even Nathanael on his bad days. My life has changed in so many ways and they bring so much to my life. I guess it’s the having your hopes up for another baby and then not getting her that’s so hard.
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1 comment:
Oh no! I don't understand how the court system can keep giving those "parents" so many chances to hurt their children.
I'm glad you took some time for yourself because a loss is a loss. You and Ken would love that baby like no other, and losing that opportunity is painful.
I'm emailing you about Nathanael.
(((HUGS)))
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