Nathanael...

had a great day all around. Worth mentioning!

Anyone Else?

Am I the only parent that blames themselves for everything? Cooper's evaluation came back from the CDSA (the Infant Toddler program in our area that deals with developmental delays) and it shows he has a 6-9 month delay in speach and 3-6 month delay in language comprehension. They seem to think there is an auditory processing problem more than a hearing issue. Basically, he can hear what we say, but it doesn't process correctly...so if I say "shoes", he hears something like "cumquats". They did not rule out a hearing problem though, so he has to have an audiologist exam. After the new year, he will start speach therapy once a week, and also community-based rehab services that focus more on object identification and sign language. I can't help but to feel like I should have call the CDSA earlier when we were worried about his lack of speach. We did have him evaluated at 3 months, but he tested normally. I just wonder if I should have spent more time trying to get him to say sounds and stuff if that would have helped. I just thought he would pick it up from his brothers. It's just really distressing.

And then Nathanael's "fits". Can he control them, or is it a lack of impulse control or what? The CDSA recommended he get a psychological evaluation and do to a sensory clinic for an eval. The sensory clinic will see if responds better to different things (I think). It's like...does he literally HAVE to scream in order to feel better...like a baby who can't console themselves without a pacifier.

At least we got alot of resource possibilities, and hopefully everything will work out well. In the meantime, my head hurts.

Bloggin

So, I haven't blogged in awhile bc I haven't really had anything to blog about, and I still don't, but decided I'd at least write about what we've been up to. Our house is on the market. Anyone out there looking for a 3 bedroom double-wide on 8 acres of beauty, let me know. Don't let the double-wide scare you off...the wheels are no longer under the house...and you're only a redneck if you can actually drive your house off the lot!! It's hard to think about leaving this place, it is so peaceful and quiet and there's tons of room to play. But really the reasons we're wanting to move is so the boys will be in a school district closer to where we work/go to church/Ken's parents. But, we also want each boy to have their own room, and we are keeping hope alive that one day, Anna may get to be with us. We looked at several houses this weekend, but nothing we loved in our price range. There was this one house that reminded me alot of my aunt Phyllis' cabin in WV. It had this awesome screened in porch looking out in the woods, and just across the lot was access to a private lake where you can fish and swim and canoe. It also has a double garage that Ken really wants. Unfortunatley, it's about $30K out of our price range. Darn money... doesn't it grow on trees anymore? We'll keep looking.

Tonight was one of those totally spastic nights. I went to the grocery store after work and when I got home, the boys had just finished eating and Cooper was crying and crying and crying. The only time he would stop is if I picked him up. Ken and I were trying to put away groceries, and of course Nathanael and James want to help. So the boys are hollering "where does this go?!", Cooper is whailing for whatever reason, and I was just like "oh my god, someone turn it down!". A night in the life of the Moss family. Anyway, Ken got Cooper interested in listening to letter sounds (we're supposed to try and get himn to move his mouth/cheeks in different shapes), and I got James and Nathanael into the shower. We don't do showers real often, but it was already getting late, and it's just faster. After pajamas, a story, telling daddy goodnight, and tuck--ins, we moved on to getting Cooper's eardrops in. That's fun. Poor little guy has double ear infections again (maybe that was what all the crying was about?)

Thankful for five

I had a total meltdown today. Last night, when we hadn’t even gotten a phone call from social services about Anna (court was yesterday), we knew we weren’t getting her. But it wasn’t until noon today that I finally got a hold of the social worker. She was very non-chalant about that whole thing, which I think just made it worse. She said the parents admitted to not providing adequate housing for Anna, but that they want to get her back. They did show up for the last 2 visits and passed a drug screen. The dad has a part time job. They told the judge they wanted to move to SANFORD because jobs were better there. Pile that on top of everything. Because of all that, Anna has to stay in foster care and see if the parents follow through. The next court date is in 90 days.
I was at work, so of course I had to hold it together. Then I went to pick up the boys, and I had to hold it together. I was holding back tears all day. When I got to the daycare, one of the teachers walked up to the car and said “oh you’re in for it today”…meaning Nathanael had one of his behaviorally challenged days. Then the fire alarm goes off. All the kids pile outside and the director said she was at her whits end at trying to control his rage, so she pulled the alarm, knowing Nathanael is scared to death of it. It calmed him down all right, till he saw me glaring down at him. Needless to say, we are also at a loss as to what to do with him. What sets him off? He goes from precious to pain in the butt in 0.2 seconds. Needless to say, I lost it in the car. I knew Ken was out doing a side job, so I just drove over to my in-laws to see if they could watch the boys for a few minutes while I sulked in my own patheticness. I know there are people who don’t have any children and would be so thankful for any kids…and I AM SOOO thankful for the boys. Even Nathanael on his bad days. My life has changed in so many ways and they bring so much to my life. I guess it’s the having your hopes up for another baby and then not getting her that’s so hard.

Evenings at the Moss household

My Boyz....Fun with Hats...

Turns Dance Party...

Where did Nathanael learn that move?!

Long Day

I have to say, this has been one of those days with a 3, 2 and 1 year old. James and Nathanael fought all day today, they simply could not share, could not play together...it was an exhausting day of enforcing turn-taking, 'organizing' playtime, go to your room to calm down, etc, etc...and on top of all that, little Cooper is teething like crazy. Fussy, crying, drooling, just pitiful. But dispite it all, at the end of the day when I put James and Nathanael to bed...we had our regular routine, and I lay down with each of them for about 5 or 10 minutes. Even though I felt like Ken and I had been fussing the boys out all day, James still wanted me to sing to him - Amazing Grace, the Good Night song, Jesus Loves Me, the pancake song, the sausage song, etc... And Nathanael babbled his random assortment of thoughts that only a mommy could understand. (How could a space ship, a man that fell off a ladder, a brain, fire ants and a monster all make sense in one story?) It was awfully sweet. Now they are asleep and it will start all over again tomorrow.

"Moss, Party of Six"

So, we've decided to jump on in! The tentative plan is that Anna will come to our home in mid-December. Right now, she is with a foster family in Cumberland County that fosters infants until they find a placement. Ken and I wanted to wait until after the first court date to make a decision (wanted to make sure the court wasn't going to give anna right back). The parents did not show up for court, or have they shown up for a visit with her in the last 3 weeks. The first trial date is November 24th, where Social Services will switch Anna's placement to be with us, since we have the siblings. That's the time the parents will get their 'to do' list to regain visitiations with her. So...we have a long process in front of us. Of course, once we get her, we'll want to keep her, and I hope it all works out for the best. We've talked to the boys about it a little bit...I asked James and Nathanael how they would feel about another baby in the house, and James said "2 babies...?" Anna is only 11 months younger than Cooper, so yes, 2 babies. She will be 6 months on December 16th and Cooper will turn 17 months on December 14th. I don't know if we'll have to call her Anna (probably) or if we can go ahead and call her by a name of our choosing (which will be Katie Ann once we do get to choose!)... short for Katherine Ann. This is my Muzzy's name, exect with a K for my aunt Kathy. Also, my mom's name is Ann. If it were up to James and Nate, they want to call her Sally...well, the girl car in the Lighting McQueen movie is Sally, so why wouldn't they choose that name. It's hilarious bc that was my favorite name when I was little! i had a pet guinea pig that I named Sally after my cousin who I thought was SO cool.

I hadn't blogged about it yet, because I still felt a little unsure that this was all going to happen, but I talked to our social worker yesterday, and she is coming out to re-license our home for 4 children, and she said there is no way we won't get her since we have the siblings. I believe her words were "oh yeah, you'll get that baby. NC wants siblings together, that judge will be giving her to you." So, that made me feel better. Anna's social worker is, thank God, the same foster worker that the boys had. She said just to hold off on buying anything pink until the Nov 24th court date...that is SO hard to do!!!

Ouch

Nathanael had a rough day! He was having a bit of a tantrum at daycare and swung a pretty heavy toy up overhead and the momentum threw him forward and he tripped and hit his head on the tile floor. Apparetnly it sounded just awful when he hit bc the teacher called for the director and was kinda freaked out. For the next hour, he sat pitifully on Betty Lou's lap crying for mommmy. Well, dumb mommy didn't charge her cell phone last night, so the daycare couldn't get ahold of me. Ken's cell doesn't work where he works, so it was a good hour before they got ahold of Ken. Anyway, I met Ken at the daycare and Nathanael looked terrible. Just pale and lethargic and crying. I picked him up and he was just limp. He couldn't keep his eyes open, I kept trying to rouse him. We decided to take him to the urgent care, but two minutes into the car ride (I was sitting in the back right next to him trying to keep him awake and not crying too much), he massively puked all over me. Ken whipped the car around and flew to the emergancy room instead. They took us right in and long story short - he has a mild concusion (sp?). Luckily, they said it was okay for him to go to sleep, which he immediately did once I stopped pestering him. They did a CAT scan, and thank goodness he was lathargic at that point, bc he would've been so scared. They let me kinda lay on top of him to hold his head still and they told me to tell him we were going in a space ship, which worked. He thought it was pretty cool. There was no bleeding in the brain - thank you God. Ken teased Nathanael saying it was so good to know that he DOES have a brain in there! So, he was just pitiful for several more hours. They told us to wake him up every 2 hours and to bring him back if he threw up again, which he thankfully didn't.
A day in the life of parents with three little boys.

Updates

James at the Lee County Fair. He LOVED the rides.

Cooper with daddy. He has grown so much!!

I was trying to get a picture of the three boys together, but nothing worked, so Nathanael and James resorted to tickling their little man.

We took a trip to the River in WV a few months ago. Here is Nathanael and Mimi toasting marshmellows.

Sorry I have not posted in so long. Just a little update on the boys:

Cooper is growing SO much!!! I can't believe it. He is soooo cute and happy. He's walking a mile a minute - still falling alot. He's not talking yet - just dada. The day he said mama was a flute - he's never said it again. We are going to have him checked out for that. A lady at out church is some kind of oral specialist with at risk kids and she said that because he didn't swallow solids until late, and he's not talking yet, he may have underdeveloped oral muscles, which is also what his regular doctor said. The lady at church also said that as cute as his fat cheeks are, they really are "hangiing fat pads" that should not still be drooping so much. So, nothing major, he'll just be a late talker probably.

Nathanael is not really growing...well, he's grown about an inch up, but still wieghs 28 pounds. He's 2 years, 9 months and wears a size 24 monthss in pants. He's my itty bitty blondie - full of vivation, spunk, attitude and creativity.

James is getting to be a big boy! Physically and just in general. He rarely has toddler tantrums, he listens (for the most part), he helps his little brothers, etc. Even though he has recently started a little rebellious streak, he's still a mama's boy. Now though, he choses to go work on the race car with daddy instead of staying home with me.

As for baby Anna...I will leave that for another blog entry.

We have been house hunting for something with more than the 3 bedrooms we currently have. The boys LOVE to look at houses - it's so funny!

Dilemma

This was the vocabulary word of the day on some cartoon we were watching...and boy, do we have one. Social Services called on Friday to let us know the boys' biolgoical sister, Anna, has been taken into custody, is in emergancy foster care, and can we take her? PS...want an answer by Monday. Ken and I kinda freaked over the weekend, so conflicted. Deep down, I want her so bad, but we do have to think about some realities - like how the boys would react mainly. I called the social worker today to tell her we really needed a little more time to make a decision, and she said it was fine, and maybe even better. She said Anna (3 months) is in a really good foster home, and that the bio parents will go to court again in 37 days. At that point, we will have a better gauge on whether or not the parents have even made an attempt to get a job/housing. It would be terrible to bring her in the house and her have to go back...bad for us, bad for the boys. In the meantime, we talked to our pastor about it and he gave us some good advice on decision making. According to the social worker, Anna has plumped up (she was 5 pounds at birth). She has a round face like Cooper, light skin (not as light as Nathanael), and light brown hair that is "crazy like Nathanael's".

Happy One Year Anniversary to the Expanded Moss Family

Let's take a look back one year....Sept 9, 2007...I'd had a good night sleep, woke up around 7...slothed through the morning, had a full day at work, headed to the gym for about an hour, came home and had a bowl of ceral for dinner, watched tv on the couch...then the next day...Sept 10, 2007...my stomach was in knots knowing the boys were coming that day. I left work early to come home and make sure everything was ready. I cooked an actual dinner, and Ken and I welcomed James and Nathanael home. Dinner mostly ended up on the floor, and bath time was more like 'soak the entire bathroom' time, and bedtime, well, I rocked, sang, re-tucked in, etc for at least an hour. Then I held Nate, walked him, bounced him (remembering he was 19 months at this point), gave him a 2nd bottle, tryed to console his blood curdling screams, and finally collapsed at almost midnight. About 2 am I was back up bc James woke up and was scared to death...I ran into the bedroom and he was on his knees sobbing. I held him and rocked him back to sleep.
Fast forward a year...Sept 10, 2008. Cooper wakes at 5:30 with a little whine, I give him a bottle. James and Nathanael crawl into our bed about 6:00 to wake me up. We go through the morning routine of dressing, teeth brushing, getting into the van and to daycare, then me off to work. After work, I came right home and daddy cooked dinner while I built block castles with the 3 boys. Other than the regular reminders toddlers need, dinner was quiet. The boys sat in their seats, didn't try to eat off the floor, said prayers before they started eating, and even asked to be excused. Bed time was us reading books, taking baths (James first, then Nathanael and Cooper), tuck ins, I sang my round of: "Good Night (from camp alleghany), Amazing Grace and Jesus Loves Me. Gave James and Nathanael their good night hugs and kisses. Meanwhile, Cooper fell asleep in the playpin. All is quiet at 8:45 pm.
Don't get me wrong, I now have to get sippy cups and bottles ready for tomorrow, pick out 4 outfits and pack the diaper bag, but that's just part of daily life!
What a difference a year makes!!

Update

The Lord knows just when you need a little lift. When I dropped the boys off at daycare, I got to talking to Betty Lou, who is the director. She told me about the last time the social worker came to visit and how they talked about what a compassionate child Nathanael is. She said he's just so loving and caring and he really worries about things...like if someone's boo-boo is okay. She said they talked about the problems he has now, but that he'll turn out to be just fine.

On James' hand, they said he's a good boy - he listens and does what is told, etc, no behavior problems, but he is not as compassionate or outwardly loving as Nathanael, and it may (or may not) be because James may have memories of his early childhood...maybe not specific memories, but just "feelings" he remembers or associates with certain situations.

Anyway, it was nice to hear Betty Lou's thoughts on Nathanael.

Lord, grant us the patience...

Nothing major to report...just the same ol routine around the Moss circus. But I tell you what, God must have invented 2 year olds so that for the REST OF THEIR LIFE, you can say to yourself, "well, at least he's not two anymore." Our Nate Reid is precious, oh so precious with his giggles and smiles. We've ruled out deafness, so it's definately a case of "I'm not gonna listen, I don't care if I lose my pride, I will do it MYSELF!!"

On the brighter side of life, Cooper is ALMOST walking. He's taken a few steps here and there, but he gets too excited and starts laughin and falls down. It's too cute! James is starting to learn to trace lines, I'm so proud of him, I didn't realize how hard that is when you're 3. Nathanael is definatley picking up on colors. He gets them right about 75% of the time now. The first time he told me the ball was pink, I practically threw myself on him with hugs and kisses and "mommy is so proud of yous". Everytime any of the boys learns something new, I get so excited! It's amazing how much they learn in such a short time.

So, despite the blonde monster ruling the house, we are all hanging in there. Nathanael makes Cooper laugh so hard. Cooper can be fussing about whatever, and Nate will put his face up to Coop's, and laugh, or scream, or just make a funny face, and Cooper will start belly rolling. Those are the moments to live for.

Ma Ma

He said it - for real...not just a fluke, Cooper really called me ma ma ma ma ma!!!! How cute! And he waved for the first time tonight. Like the "bye-bye" wave. He's never done that before either. He's growing up so much. Cooper absolutely HATES to have his diaper and clothes changed and HATES to have his face wiped off. He screams bloody murder and wiggles and flips over and throws his head back...anything but to have his clothes put on in the morning. Makes things a little difficult. But as soon as the last button is done, he's a happy camper. He's trying to play more and more with his big brothers, who have been really good about it - except when Cooper grabs their hair.

James is just a good boy (as good a s a 3 year old can be). He's just very sweet. I love getting his hugs when Ken gets him home from daycare, or when I get home from work...he makes me feel so special because he runs to me to get his hugs and kisses. He's recently been voicing his concern about the monsters at his granny's house - not sure what that's about. I'm always worried about what he might remember, and if he's confused. I love when I have alone time with him, like if I take him to the grocery store - just the two of us.

After about 2 weeks of daycare madness for Nathanael, things are calming down a little. It's inevitable, no one will ever love him like I do. He is so very hyper, I can totally understand any daycare worker getting frustrated and exhausted with him. But like I told him, when he hits and kicks people, they can't see all the sugary sweetness that Jesus put in him. At church, Nathanael sings, claps and raises his hands in praise...not that he knows the words, mind you, he's singing his own tune, but he knows he's singing to Jesus. We've had so many people comment to us about how precious he is during praise and worship. Maybe I should ask them to help me put him down for a nap in the afternoon!! But truly, he IS precious.

Numbers

# of diapers a week: 60
# of pull-ups a week: 7
# of bottles Cooper drinks in a week: 35
# of sippy cups filled per week: 14 (2 kids x 7 days)
# of times those sippy cups are filled a week: 48
# of "tuck me in again"'s a week: 14-20
# of baths given a week: 21
# of loads of laundry per week: 10
# of times I say "how do you ask nicely?": 4,000,000,000,000
# of boo-boos kissed a week: 500 - 1,000
# of times I tell my boys I love them so much and that they are precious: countless

Just a Nice Night

The weather was great tonight - finally a break from the heat. James suggested we have a picnic for dinner, but we have ants in the yard, so we sat outside on the back porch and had a nice relaxing dinner - no, really - the boys provided a nice relaxing dinner. Then a tractor went by our house and the boys were dying of excitement, so we started walking down to the end of our road so they could see it. Turns out it was a guy who owns land way at the end, so we had a LONG walk, and i was holding Cooper! Man, he's heavy! The boys were so well mannered and said "can I please look at your tractor?" What a difference 11 months can make! I have to pat Ken and I on the back...by no means are we perfect, and we lose our patience, and we let the boys go to bed without brushing their teeth sometimes, andwe let them drink too much chocolate milk, but overall, I think we have perserveared and done a good job at 'civilizing the farrel cats' as Ms Reed put it. They are the most precious babes anyone could ask for.

Poor Cooper

He's been a sick little fella. Started Monday night with a fever, which I thought was from getting a new tooth. Tuesday morning - still a fever and very lethargic. Daycare called at about 11:00 saying he had slept all morning (NOT Cooper) and now his hands and feet were very dark blue. I told them I was on the way, and I called 911 to get an ambulance there because if he was deprived of oxygen, I didn't want to wait at our sorry a-- emergancy room. By the time I got there, his coloring was fine, he was just lethargic still. Oxygen levels were normal. EMT suggested he may have had a seizure, and to take him to his regular doc. Spent several hours there - testing blood, urine, etc. Couldn't find a thing (still lethargic and sleeping). Said it was probably a virus that would last a few days. Call back if fever goes back up. Ken took him to his mom's for the remainder of the day so we could go back to work. He woke up at 5:30 with a temp of 104. Called doc. Give Tylenol and a cold bath. If that doesn't help - take to emergancy. Needless to say, we ended up at urgent care and turns out he has double ear infections. My poor little baby. They gave him 2 shots of antibiotic to get it in his system quickly. He had a terrible night of sleep last night, but seemed his bubbly self this morning, thank goodness.

In other news...the boys' biological grandmother and grandfather (not the great g-ma that took care of them...the crack head ones) were in a terrible drunk driving accident and the g-ma is in critical condition. Ken saw it in the newspaper. I talked to aunt Beth about it and she said their daugther's 19 year old boyfriend was driving them on a 'crack run' and they were all drunk. Crazy. Aunt Beth also told me the baby's name is Anna, not Gracie Lynn. Huh....? Who knows? Beth saw the boys' bio parents at the hospital and when she asked where the baby was, she wouldn't answer her.

weekend wrap up

I few things from the weekend:
Friday night, we all went to Lowe's Hardware to buy paint and then went to eat at Andy's, where the boys get thier food served to them in a car, and they get stickers at the end.
Saturday, Ken, the boys and I painted the dog house...well, the boys painted - themselves, the grass, and a little paint got on the dog house, but they had fun, so that's all that matters. We followed up painting with playin in the water hose (to clean them off!). Saturday afternoon I took the boys to ride thier bikes in a church parking lot near us. We took Cooper's little riding car and he got the hang of pushing forward! It was so cute! Nathanael got another bonk on the head...his accidents always look so bad, I think beacuse he's so little, it just looks like a rag doll flying through the air, but he comes out with minor scrapes. This time, I was putting Cooper in the baby swing and Nathanael started towards the playground on his bike. I saw that he was picking up speed, so I started screaming "hit your brakes!!!" I ran toward him, but there was no way to make it...he headed down the stairs (luckily only 4 of them). He held on till the end, and then went over the handlebars. He got a scrape on his head, but nothing more than a few tears. He may be little, but he's mighty!!
Today was relatively low key. We went to church, and played around the house this afternoon.
Personally, I am psyched the Olympics are on.

Depot Park

Still no pictures since I washed the camera...

Tonight was a total picture taking night...so I'll just have to remember it fondly! I took the boys to Depot Park, which is a little park in downtown Sanford where there is a train engine the boys can play on and on Thursday nights in the summer, they have live music. Tonight was bluegrass. So I loaded the boys up, we drove to town, stopped in Gregg's restaurant (my friend I ride bikes with) and got the boys smoothies, and walked over to the park. We met my friend Kelly and her son Javi there. And it was just a fun evening. Nathanael and James danced and clapped their hands and were the hit of the show...alot of older people in lawn chairs. Another little girl from the daycare was there, so she joined in the fun. I had the boys in matching outfits. It's the first time I've done that, and I have to say, it was totally adorable. After playing on the train for awhile, it was already past bedtime, so Kelly helped me pack up the crew and we headed home. All babes asleep within 10 minutes of hitting the sheets!

Over the weekend

Nothing overly exciting to report, just updating you on the boys. Let's see - Nathanael had a great week overall with his potty training. He went to daycare and all evening activities in underware. He had an an accident at daycare twice. And that's it. I thought that was pretty good for his first week! Don't want to jinx myself though!

Friday morning, I was getting the boys dressed, and I swear James is growing out of things like crazy! I put on 3 different pairs of socks that were too small. I said "you are grwoing like a weed!" almost immediately, James relpied with "I need my own lawnmower." I thought that was pretty clever of him to think of - so I cracked up of course and so he added that he also needed his own weedwacker...the sillly little things in life are sometimes the funniest.

Yesturday (Saturday), Ken was working, so I took the boys to San-Lee Park. Their favorite (and my least favorite) part was looking at the snakes - yuck! Nathanael had a pretty rough fall and had a quarter-sized goose-egg on his forehead. He got running down a steep hill and his body was going faster than his feet and he just flew forward and practically bounced off his head. Good thing he's strong-willed. After a little crying, we stayed and hiked the trails a little more until it was too hot to stay. We left and went to the Sanford Flea Market and met my friend Bev there. We got some fresh fruit - the boys nawed on peaches, and then they played on the "real life choochoo", followed by running around in the water fountain. THat was the most fun - it was HOT. Then we went over to Cafe 121 that my friend Gregg owns and we got fruit smoothies - then home for a long nap!!

And lastly, Cooper is officially eating solids. Not everything of course, but peaches, crackers, french fries, cookies. He didn't like scrambled eggs or peas, but we'll try them again.

Get in the Kitchen and Bake Me a Pie

After dinner last night, I was sitting on the floor in the living room, facing James and Nathanael, who were waiting for the Elmo tape to remind. I was trying to chat with them and James said I was in his way, he couldn't see. I told him there was nothing to see bc it was rewinding and just be patient...

My sweet baby James says to me "I want you to go in the kitchen and clean."

Oh, hell no. I didn't know whether to crack up laughing or beat the kid. I calmly stood up, and told him that I was not his maid, and that if he wanted the kitchen clean, he should clean it. He, of course, wanted to watch Elmo and started to cry. Uh-uh. I had that boy load the dishwasher one dish at a time, showing him what direction they should go in. I had him put boxes, etc back in the cupboard, and had him wipe off the dinner table. I thanked him for cleaning, and he asked "now can I watch Elmo?" "Sure" I replied, "but remember, the next time you want the kitchen clean, do it yourself or keep your mouth shut." "Yes, ma'am"

I told Ken about that last night and he just busted out laughing!!! Very funny!

Potty Trainng

Strange computer malfulnction...some of the letters dont work and I switched leyboards, and it's intermittent. Weird. Seems to be working right now.

So...today was a victory!! Nathanael went to daycare with big boy underware and did not have a single accident!! Saturday was literally his first day in big boy underware, and he had no accidents. Sunday, he did well until the babysitter came (1st time leaving the boys with a babysitter!), and he had several accidents, so I was going to have him wear pull ups this morning, but he was not into that idea. I took extra clothes for him, but when Ken brought the kids home, he was in the same outfit! I hope it lasts, we'll see. The only thing that triggered it is that he had a physical on Thursday and the doctor asked if he was potty training yet. I lied and said yes...but then later I said to Nathanael - 'did you hear the doctor say you should be going in the potty?' He takes great stake in what 'the doctor' says. Whatever works... I'm so proud of him!

Last Visit

Tonight, Ms Reed came to make her last official visit as the boys' social worker. She is now transferring our case to Jim, the adoption social worker. It was a fun visit, the boys love her to death. I had the boys tell them their 'new' names (they are so excited about them!!), and she cried when Nathanael told her his middle name. It was real sweet. Nathanael has self-proclaimed himself "Nate Reid" at daycare. He walks around saying "I Nate Reid I Nate Reid".

I decided I need to start recording some of the funny things the boys say. Here's a recent one...Ken and I had been talking about giving Cooper Tylenol because his teeth were hurting him. So, James has a real big, hard stinky. When he got off the potty and pulled up his shorts, he grabbed his butt and said "my hiney hurts, I need some Tylenol". He said it so matter-of-factly, I had to laugh!

Vacation

I will soon post pictures from the week, but wanted to post a quick note about our week at the River. We had a great time! For those of you who do not know about the river...it is a long-standing love of my family. My aunt Phyllis has a cabin there in WV and it is peaceful and beautiful beyond description. Ken and I took the boys and my mom and step dad (Jim) stayed the week with us. My aunts Phyllis, Kathy, Suzanne and uncle Mike came on Sunday to celebrate Taylor's 1st birthday!! It is hard to believe he is one! I'm so glad the boys got to spend some time with my aunts and uncle. Now Kathy is more than just the lady who "gave us the carrot cookies at Easter." Later in the week, aunt Betsy came and spent the night and met the boys fir the first time. They thought Betsy and her dog Angus were great. They are now completely spoiled and getting them back into the 'real world' sans Mimi and PapPap is gonna be tough.

Some adventures of the week: swimming in the river, canoeing (our dog's name is Canoe, and this was the boys' first canoing experience, so they were a little confused!), fishing, taking a bath and washing their hair in the river, walks and a picnic on the river trail, lots of bike rides, frisbee/baseball/soccer/waterbombs in the backyard, long naps, and general river activities. Although amazingly fun, taking the boys to the river was such a hugely different experience from adult only trips. I am used to waking up in the morning at my leisure and drinking coffee in the rocking chairs on the porch and just enjoying the peace and quiet. THIS week, the rocking chairs were all turned sideways to form a choo-choo train...James as the engineer and mommy as the caboose. As a non-parent, I never thought about the dangers of the river either, but we were constantly keeping an eye on each child. I was so scared one would fall off the 2nd story deck. The only real injury was James falling down the full flight of indoor stairs and rug-burning the right hand side of his face. It was a nasty fall, but no blood or broken bones.

The most exciting (I think) thing about the trip was we told the boys their new names...bc of where we are in the adoption process, we can start calling them by what we will change their names too. James and Nathanael will keep their first names - we just couldn't change them (Although James' name was actually Junior when we got the boys). Anyway....here they are:

James Conrad. Conrad is Ken's middle name and his mom's maiden name.
Nathanael Reid. 1. like the name 2. the boys' social worker's name is Ms Reed and if it were not for her we probably wouldn't even have the boys 3. their is a family at our church who has the name Reid running through it and they have been incredibly good to us and the boys.
Taylor is now Cooper Dawson. Yes. We are officially calling him Cooper as of his first birthday. He already responds to it. James and Nathanael were totally fine about us changing his name, although they are having a little trouble remembering. Dawson is my mom's middle name. Cooper is a name we liked, and well...for those of you who know the significance of this name, there's no need to explain, but the name Cooper Dawson just sounds right and feels right. (Robin - I saw Sarah Reem at Wolfcreek and she just laughed hysterically about his name).

Relief

The 7 days of waiting are over!! As of midnight last night, the parent's rights were ended! We have our meeting to finalize the foster care paperwork in 2 weeks (we're going to WV next week), which will transfer us over to an adoption social worker. So, really the boys are sortof in limbo....not adopted yet, and still have their last name, but now we don't have to worry about any visits with any of the biological family, and don't have to worry about the parents really at all.

STRANGELY enough, the parents showed up at social services today. Our SW was like "what in the world?! They better not try and change their mind now!" Although legally, it was too late, they could've fought it. But no, they were there to show our social worker their new baby. How totally random. The only thing they asked about the boys was whether or not Ken and I knew they had relinguished their rights. Random...

But such a RELIEF. When I tucked in James and Nathanael tonight, I told them how much mommy and daddy loved them and how happy we were to be their parents and how proud we were of them. I think it was the first time I actually called them "my sons". I almost sounded weird to me, but good!

It will still be approx 6 months until the adoption is final, but we are well on our way!!

4th weekend

Nathanael playing hide and seek at the pool.
He's not scared of the water anymore!

James prepares to be thrown "weally high!"
Mommy tosses James off her sholders.
He loves every second!
How adorable is our little snuggle bug! (That's our neice Heather in the pic)
James and Nathanael (red shorts) had a great time playing in the main water fountain at Depot Park in Sanford on the 4th.

We've had a fun 4th weekend so far! We swam for quite a while at Ken's parents with our neices and the boys. Ken's dad took a bunch of pics. Perfect weather. The afternoon of the 4th, we went to Sanford's "old fashioned 4th" celebration. Playing in the fountain was the highlight. We also went into the historical railraod museum, where according to James, they have "stuff from a loooong time ago."

We had yet another intersting phone call from the boys' aunt Friday night. Long story short, apparently the parents left the 2 week old baby girl with the mom's 17 year old sister (who also has an infant) and didn't return when they said they would (don't know details, but it must have been a long time after), so the sister and g-ma called the police to get social services to come get the baby. In the meantime, the parents returned, hell broke loose and the parents said they were leaving the county... we thought they would've laid low for awhile. They clearly hadn't "abandonded" the baby since the police left the baby with them.

knot in my stomach

The boys LOVE to swim! We swim at Ken's parents house one or two days a week.
Nathanael, who is totally NOT potty trained, wanted to be like his big bro and pee in the bushes. His arm floaties are almost as big as he is!
Trying to get a shot of Taylor's 5 teeth...but he keeps crawling towards me!

Today was interesting, to say the least. We had gotten a letter from social services saying there was a Permanancy Planning Meeting today. The social worker said we didn't have to come, but it would be a good time to ask questions about the process from here, etc...and they were at the point of setting a court date to have the TPR (termination of parental rights) signed. So, of course we went to the meeting. The SW said the parents had been invited, bt had not shown up to one yet, so told me not to worry about it. When we arrived (this is at the social services in cmberland county - about an hour from us)...the receptionist asked if we were the Mosses. We said yes, and she said the sw worker had been trying to reach us to tell us the parents were there! The sw pulled us to the side and said they were in the conference room signing papers to relinguish their rights to the boys. They had the little girl last sunday, and apparently just want social services to stay away from them and the baby, so signing over the boys is their best way of doing that (this is what the sw (and Ken and I) feel is the reason). The sw said she had not told the parents that we were there, and asked if we wanted to meet them. We told her no, we didn't, unless they wanted to meet us to make sure they went through with the paperwork this time. The sw said they didn't even know we were there, so not to worry about it. So we went ahead with the Perm. meeting...which was us, the sw, her supervisor, and the GAL. They basically went over the plan, which WAS TPR, followed by adoption by the Mosses. The parents DO have 7 business days to change thier mind (they DID follow through and sign everything today)...but, if they don't - we will move to an adoption social worker. The sw said we should start thinking about names...how fun!!! Ken and I agreed not to talk about names until the 7 days is over. Ironically, the seven days is over on Ken's birthday. So we may have a mighty celebration on July 7th! If they do change thier mind, the plan is still to terminate rights, it will just add about 8 months or so to the process. Keep your fingers crossed - and please pray for the boys' baby sister - that she is safe and healthy.

Ready?

Well, we've had the boys for 9 months now! The length of a regular pregnancy - should we be ready for them yet?

"Don't Cry Mommy"

It's 100 degress down here (literally) so we took the boys swimming at Ken's parents' house. Opposite of most situations, James is the daredevil and Nathanael is the scared one. Nathanael likes being in the water, but needs to feel very secure that hes' not going to go under.

James, on the other hand is a little water bug with no fear - he did a front flip off the diving board today. He has to wear "floaties", but he's not scared at all.

Taylor loves the water - splashing around. He was in his little baby tube and I looked over and his head was down on the tube, he was out cold...pacifer floating away and all. I took him up to the house for a nap! It was too funny though.

The strangest thing happened with me though. I jumped into the pool, going down to the bottom of the deep end and all of a sudden it felt like my ear had exploded. I got to the top and out and I felt like i was going to vomit. Long story short - I ended up in urgent care and I cracked my eardrum. The pressure was just right to "blow" it out. So, I can't take a shower, swim, or blow my nose for a week. Now it just feels like I have alot of water in my ear. Nathanael was too cute though. I was sitting by the pool crying and he came over and gave me his toy fish to make me feel better.

So....after that saga, we had the boys at home and were playing outside in the waterhose and james got sting by a bee and was screaming bloody murder. Once we got him calmed down, our last resort for water fun in the 100 degree sun was.... BUBBLE BATH!!! Big boy Taylor even got into the fun.

Drag Strip

Here are a few shots from our trip down to the Rockingham Drag strip a couple weekends ago. Our friends Tiffany and Jason had their camper there, so we enjoyed the day playing with their kids. tiffany came prepared with bags of sand for the kids to play in! Her husband had been racing for years, so she's got it down to a science.
I LOVE this picture!

Taylor had fun crawling around in the sand. It was SO hot that day, his haid was slicked up from sunscreen and sweat.

Updates

Nothing really major to report, I just realized that I need to be recording milestones. I never thought I'd forget how old Taylor was when he first started crawling, but then it occured to me this morning that I couldn't remember exactly how old he was (lucky for me, I have this blog to help me remember!). So, Taylor officially has 2 bottom teeth - they aren't all the way in, but you can definatley see them. He is crawling like a mad man, and can pull up to stand up. he pulls up against the couch, chairs, etc, and can mokve sideways along the couch. He can balance himself with one hand on the couch, but is definately not standing on his own. He's still eating stage 2 foods (he chokes on anything solid). He still smiles and giggles all the time, but has gotten to where he wants to be held alot. If Ken or I walk past him without acknowledgin him, he screams! It's too funny!

Nathanael is getting so "mature". He's not putting as many marbles and other little peices in his mouth - crayons are still a battle. He's hitting less and less, and his vocabulary is growing. He's much better about going to bed at night (thank goodness!). He loves for you to pat his back while he's getting settled down for sleep. He's so cute - he'll flip over on his belly and say "pat me". He looks so content.

James is getting so grown up I can hardly stand it. When he wakes up from his nap on the weekends and just before bed are about the only times he's real cuddly. We're having a little trouble with him talking back, but are getting that slowly under control. On tuesday at daycare, his teacher reported that he was "exceptionally good". We were too excited about that!

My mom and stepdad (Mimi and PapPap) came and visited for the long Memorial Day weekend. The boys were spoiled rotten and had a great time. They went down to the pond alot and fed the cows. On Monday, we went for the first swim of the season. Those boys LOVE to swim! James and Nathanael can doggy paddle with floaties on.

Guess those are the updates for now!

Random events

We took the boys to the New Hope Valley Railway where they got to ride on a REAL choo-choo-train! It was an open air style train and the ride lasted about an hour.
Here, James and Nathanael investigate by looking through the cracks in the floor to make sure we are staying on the track.
Mother's Day! Mommy and my boys.
Relay for Life to raise $$ for cancer. Ms. Kelly paints faces. (James LOVES Ms Kelly)
James rounds the corner of the Scooby-Doo bouncy house.

How cute am I? Look at my chubby knees!
Swinging at mawmaw and pawpaws


Taylor singing into the mic.

Happy Mother's Day!

Today was a good day. Ken cooked breakfast while I slept in, and then he had the boys wake me up. We went to church, and the sermon was about non-biological moms, so it was really cool. Then the Moss family came over for a Mother's Day dinner. Ken had the boys give me flowers, which was very sweet. James picked off one of the flower buds from the pot and said "here, I picked you one!". He was quite proud of himself - it was pretty funny. If anyone watches Jon&Kate+8...I agree with Kate, Mother's day should be once a month!

No TPR YET

James snuggles with his blankie and thumb while Nathanael encourages Taylor to stand up.
He did it! He is so precious!
Even though he can't pedal yet, Nathanael loves to 'ride' his 'motorcycle'. Doesn't he have a great smile?

Well, today was court. We were really hoping the TPR was going to be signed today. It wasn't, but actually, things are working in our favor anyway. The TPR was not completed by the legal department at social services in time for court because of staff illnesses. However, the parents did NOT show up for court today. They had been living with the mom's grandmother (not the Granny the boys visit) for the past few months, but on Friday, there was a 'blow out' and the grandmother kicked them out, so they are homeless again. The dad has not gone to substance abuse counseling, nor has he taken a drug test. The mom has taken some parenting classes, and has passed 2 drug screens. She is in fact pregnant, but our sw feels she will not go to the hospital in Cumberland County, which means she'll probably go to Harnett County, so social servies may not even get involved. If the baby is drug negative, the hospital won't even call social services. If the baby is born in Cumberland County, then social services has them in the hospital 'system' and will then decide about taking her. Back to today...so the TPR was not signed, but our sw feels it will be completed in about 3 weeks. At that point, the judge will sign it. She feels absolutley certain that he will sign it. She said that at court today, he spelled out everything that has happened (the parents wanting to relinguish rights a few months ago, the drugs, the non-compliance, etc) and had the paralegal record all of it so that when the TPR came to him, there would be no question about it becasue it's all on record. Now, the problem is that the signed TPR has to be delivered to the parents, and now no one knows where they are as of this past Friday. If they can't be found, they have to post a legal ad in the paper for 60 days to give them a chance to appeal. Even with the appeal, our sw said that even though it would slow down the process, Jesus Himself would have to return to Earth and touch the parents for the judge to reverse the decision. So, she said that essentially we are the boys' parents, it's just a matter of time for the legality. So, not exactly what we were hoping for, but God has had his hand in all of this, and His timing is always perfect, so we'll just ride it out. As reassuring as she is, until we sign on the dotted line, we still have that little fear in the back of our minds. Oh, and the judge did stop ALL visitation with ANY biological family members (including Granny), so that is GREAT to not have to worry about that. THANK YOU to everyone who is praying for us!!

Taylor's First Hair Cut

Pre-cut
Post-cut. Cruisin' in the walker (he scratched his nose during the night!)
I'm a crawling fool!
One day I was a beached whale stuck on my tummy and now I'm keeping mommy and daddy running!

Crawling

Taylor is crawling! He officially made three moves forward on hands and knees yesturday!

Working Hard

Taylor is trying so hard to crawl! He gets on his hands and knees and just rocks back and forth. But he has officially gotten the army crawl, so he can scoot himself forward on his forearms. It's hilarious.
It was a beautiful day out, so I took Taylor for a walk (it was so nice to get some exercise!) and then after dinner, I took all the boys down to the pond. James and Nathanael wanted to practice peeing outside (thanks Pap), so James peed in the pond and Nathanael (who is still fully in daipers, mind you) insisted he pee in the pond too. So there I stand with Nat's diaper in my hand, his pants around his ankles, he's bending his knees, all the while looking down trying to see his little weiner and he's making grunting sounds like he's trying to poop. If he actually could've peed, it probably woud've shot a stream right into his eye! It would've been a $100,000 video!

The Important Things

The boys often remind me of the important things in life - God, and family. I was running late at work. I usually pick the boys up at daycare around 5:00. They close at 5:45. Today, I rushed in the door at 5:40 and found my boys huddled around one of the workers. I said "Oh my gosh! Are my babies the last three here?" James just looked at me with his mesmerizing eyes and said "I scared." I asked why he was scared and he said "you not come get me." My poor baby thought he was being left...again. It about tore me up. I didn't know it was possible to love like this. Our pastor once told me that God gives us children to give us some understanding of how much He loves us. Knowing that God loves us more than we can humanly love our children, I cannot imagine how much He does love us.

yes, they can

A lot of people have been asking me about the new baby, and whether the parents can keep her. And the sad answer is yes, they can. If the baby is born drug-free, they can keep her.

Enough Said

Why a picture of toy dart guns and handcuffs?

Why would you give these to a 2 and 3 year old at a visitation with the social worker? Logical decision making does not run in their family. These are the toys the boys grandparents brought for them. In addition to the fact that they are guns, the box is clearly marked as a choking hazard for children under three. Smart.

And we found out why the parents took the parenting classes (we think). Oh yeah - you won't beleive this one - bio mom is 5 months pregnant. I guess they want to see if they can keep this one.

Visitation

Well, the boys had a supervised visit with their granny today. The social worker took them, so we really only know what she told us. The visit was supposed to be granny, gracie and adell (the boys 2 female cousins that they lived with, along with granny) and uncle johnie (a 21 year old who has mental retardation and loves the boys to death). We're cool with all 4 of them. Granny's a little tricky though - she called the social worker Wednesday to tell her that the bio mom's parents were coming too. And then 1/2 way through the visit another aunt and 2 more cousins showed up. The social worker was really mad and told granny that if she did that again, she would stop any visits at all. On top of that, they brought the boys presents - toy guns and handcuffs. Right on.

The boys' aunt beth, who originally got us with the boys called tonight and said that the parents had gone to the parenting classes, but that the dad quit his job this week, and they are still living with the mom's grandmother, so they aren't in compliance with court orders even though they took the classes. The next court date is April 29th. I hope the judge doesn't extend things just bc they took those classes. It scares me to death sometimes.

Finally

I got the official 'get off your arse and post' message from a friend...so here I am! I did finally get a new camera and you won't beleive how much they've grown! Taylor can sit on his own...he still gets too excited and flaps his arms really hard which make him fall over, but he's got the hang of it! James has a great memory - he remembers every somg from daycare. He is a mama's boy, that is for sure. And Nathanael is doing so well. He's going through a really cute stage, and I don't want to speak too soon, but he has not been having fits at all. While at home and on thier regular schedule, James and Nathanael go to bed easily. We recently took 2 trips - both times bedtime was an issue - but it just goes to show how important the schedule is. First, we took the boys to the beach!

James watis patiently on the deck as we get Taylor and Nathanael ready for the trek down to the sand.

nathanael was hilarious! He was determined he was going to catch a bird - he chased them, squeeling and cracking himself up the whole time.

The water was ice cold - but they didn't care!

They were so cute, very excited to see the ocean and all the sand. They swam for hours in the indoor pool. By swimming, I mean jumping in to us. Ken was able to teach James to doggy paddle with his floaties on. James was so excited to be swimming without holding on. Our next trip was to WV to visit my mom and stepdad for Easter.

Lil' Nate under mom's piano finding eggs

James shows off his eggs too.

Everyday life is still overwhelming at times. But in general, I can hardly remember life without the boys. Taylor is the the most beautiful baby. He is full of smiles and giggles all the time. His daycare worker always says I cant take him at the end of the day bc he's the only one not crying. He rolls over both ways (his prefered mode of transportation). Not crawling, and no teeth, but his gummy smiles makes me weak in the knees. I practically suck off his fat cheeks everyday and I love to cuddle with him in bed. He does sleep in his crib until about 4 or 5 am. He wakes up and I put him in bed with us. I know a bad habit, but one I'm not ready to break.

Why buy expensive toys? The boys' favorite evening activity (after I make them come inside!) is to take apart the couch and build forts and tents.

Taylor hanging out in his Bumbo...the greatest baby seat!

Taylor loves playing his bongos!

As for the adoption process.Basically, there is nothing to report. The parents go back to court sometime in April. Usually there is 30 days between court dates, but this has been a 60 day lull - I'm not sure why. We don't really get told very much. Supposedly, the TPR (termination of parental rights) process is being put into effect, but our social worker says it gets turned over to the legal department of social services at that point. I don't have alot of faith that it will be a quick process. The boys have not seen their granny in 2 1/2 months - fine with us, but she called the social worker last week wanting a visit. So that is happening this friday. It is supervised, but it will be a setback for sure.