Age correction!

Thanks, Kelly! The boys are not 6 months apart! Hehe! Nathanael is 21 months, not 27!! And we're gonna weigh them this weekend. James is a hoss (future NFL player, I am sure), so he can't possibly be below the 5th percentile for his age/height!!

http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/1202971/

In case you want to see the bio parents.

Who Invented Our Judicial System??

Wouldn't you know it...our visitation got put off again. May I remind you the boys have no water at where they are staying? The sw called at 4:15 saying that they had been in court all day (didn't even know they were going to be in court today) and the boys were cranky. So, totally understandable. I told her we could do it anytime tomorrow. I asked her what happened in court, and basically the bio parents would not admit to abandoning James and Nathanael. They tried to do a 'plea bargin' type of thing, but they didn't take it bc they knew it meant jail time. I'm not exactly sure what they admitted to about Taylor and the cocaine, but the hospital will be able to prove that. Since they would not admit to anything, the judge said they'd all have to come back in the morning and they would have a trial. Now this is not the criminal trial, but just the child protective services part of it. The sw is not available tomorrow or Saturday, so now she's saying she'll tell the g-ma to bring them to us Sunday for an unsupervised visit. This is so crazy. Okay..so we know the bio mom was on crack at the time she gave birth - shouldn't there be drug charges? The bio parents told the sw they wanted to meet us. Negative Ghost Rider. I know I can't change anything, or make anything go a certain way, but I still have a stomach ache, can't concentrate, can't think about anything but the boys. I felt so convicted last night that instead of hoping the parents would just disappear, I should be praying for them to be saved, but I just can't bring myself to it. I do believe in second chances for people...but this is ridiculous!!

G-ma reported that James, age 21/2 (33 months), is 36 inches tall and 32 pounds.
Nathanael is 27 months old, 34 inches tall and 23 pounds.
Can someone please help me here...I've found several growth charts on-line that are showing me different percentages. Where are they? We bought car seats today (thanks dad!) based on g-ma's weight reports.

Dried Up

The boys' great grandmother (who has been keeping them) called me today to tell me not go get the boys any clothes because she was going to send them. The SW had asked us if we wanted their clothes, and we told her to do whatever would make the grandmother feel the least crappy. The sw said that if she did send the clothes, we would probably want to just box them up, and then if we're going to see the grandmother, put them in one of the outfits so that the g-ma doesn't think that we think we're better than her. Make sense...?

Anyway, while I was on the phone with her, I asked if she wouldn't mind bringing a piece of clothing form each boy to the visitation tomorrow night. We want our dogs to smell them and get used to their scent so that maybe they won't totally go spasctic. She said that was fine, and then added that she had plenty of dirty clothes they'd worn because they don't have any water to wash right now. What!?@?

She said their well dried up. I asked her what she was doing for drinking water and she said the neighbor was letting them come over.

When we hung up, of course I called the sw, who slightly freaked and asked if she could bring the boys to us tonight bc the state can't have kids in custody staying without water or electricity. I told her that was fine, of course (uh...do I have time to stop at Wally World for some diapers and wipes?). Anyway, the sw called me back about an hour later and said her supervisor said it was fine to leave them there because the neighbor is giving them water and they have a plan of getting them out in the near future.

So Ken and I went to the grocery store tonight and bought 4 jugs of water to give her tomorrow night when we see her at visitation. We have to give it to her without the sw around though, bc I don't want g-ma to know I told.

Our first order of business when they come this weekend...a bath. I can just picture a ring of dirt around their socks. I want my babies.

I have to take a quick second to thank God for the life I have, and ask forgiveness for taking things for granted. He is my provider.

Getting Ready

Here are the bunk beds. James will sleep on the bottom (we'll put up rails). For now, the top will be vacant. Ken's brother Joe gave these to us, his girls didn't need them anymore.

Toy storage. Elisabeth Galperin was so great to come down this weekend and help me organize!! Too bad I dont have 'before' photos. I had piles of toys and clothes of all sizes and had no clue how to get it all together. She did in one day what would have taken me 3 months! The room looks great now. It's a big room - 15 ft x 15 ft, so plenty of room.

This picture just makes me laugh! Typical "Man Preparing for Baby" shot! Ken was so great in assembling the crib, and toy storage! We're going to try to have Nathanael sleep here. Ken swears he'll climb out. We'll see! We have a Winnie the Pooh bassinet for Taylor. Painting the bedroom. The top is a light sage green, and the bottom a darker shade of the same. Ken's dad was great to come over and put up chair rail molding. It looks awesome.
We bought this credenza a few years ago for about $20. It was a dark stained wood, and pretty beat up. I sanded it down and painted in a shiny white. We'll use it for a changing table.

This weekend, Ken's parents hit the yard sales before 7 am! They did a fantastic job. They showed up with things for the boys that looked like they'd hardly been touched! A great highchair, enough toys to last a year, including a lot of VTech toys, which are educational, and I am a huge fan of, and TONS of adorable clothes. Honestly, it was probably over $1,000 worth of stuff if it had been bought new. They are the yard sale king and queen. They had fun shopping and we had fun looking through all the toys and clothes!

Tonight (Sunday), the VO girls had a little shower for us. the VO girls are a group of girls that get together for dinner once a month. They are a great source of information, advice, and laughs! They are strong women who support us when we make stupid decisions, and let us cry when we realize we were stupid! I am so thankful for all the support people have given us.

I'm so excited for the visitaiton on Thursday, but I'm nervous too. The SW and the great grandmother will be there - I feel like they'll just be watching us interact with the boys, and I think it'll be kinda akward. But i can't wait to see them!

Shopping

I am exhausted! We did minivan and daycare shopping today. After calling every daycare in Sanford, we found one that can take all 3 boys. We found several that had a spot either in the infant, 1 or 2 year old room, but only one that had vacancies in all 3. Luckily, we like it. It is the montessouri (sp?) daycare. We liked the owner, there are some other foster children there, and there seems to be plenty of staff. It was very orderly. It's close to Ken's work, so we'l have to alternate days to tranport them I guess!

Now, minivan shopping - that was hard!! It's just so hot here in right now that the sun just takes it out of you. We've narrowed it down to the Honda Odysey or the Toyota Sienna. We'll do some test drives after work tomorrow. We also want to check out one more used car lot.

I forgot to post yesturday about this feeling I had at church on Wednesday. We had just watched "Facing the Giants" with our church group this weekend, and in that movie, the wife talks about missing someone you've never even met (she was trying to get pregnant). That's how I felt Wednesday...I miss Taylor, I really feel like he needs his mama, and I haven't even seen him yet. James and Nathanael we've met...but it's the same thing...it just feels like they are supposed to be here and time can't go fast enough to see them again.

No More Flying by the Seat of Our Pants

Babies do change your plans! So the boys' SW decided on Sept 4 th to move the boys in with us (we'll get 2 visitations before that - one of them overnight). But then we realized our One Another church beach trip is the 7-9th. We can't very well take the boys the 4th, and leave them 3 days later! So we're going to ask if we can get them th 10th when we come back to reduce the boys' stress level. Beleive me, I want them ASAP, and could ditch the beach trip, but Ken is on the leadership team and helped plan the trip, so I want to be supportive of him. It will be nice to have a last weekend away with our friends though!

One Week Delay

The past few days have been crazy! I've been on the phone with everyone I know spreading the good news. So many people have been so wonderful in helping me with advise and with baby items - clothes, car seats, an infant playmat, a crib mobile...all kinds of wonderful gifts. Ken and I are so blessed!

We have realized that our car will not fit 3 carseats, so this week we are car shopping, and daycare hunting so that we'll have a place lined up when I have to go back to work.

I talked with the boys'aunt today and she said that although the grandmother is sad, she is okay since she knows the boys are coming to us. The aunt told me that the boys' SW felt the Holy Spirit when she came into our house the first time, and she knew we were the ones.

Here's an update - the grandmother has polio and goes to a polio convention/reumion every year, and it is this week. So...getting the boys has been pushed back one week bc the SW told her she'd be able to take them. I'm not happy about that, but it's okay - I know they are coming home soon. It also turns out that it is Nathanael's LEG that IS broken. The first x-rays didn't show anything, but three days later he wasn't walking, so they went back to the doc and now he has on a cast up to his knee and he scoots around on his little butt.

Baby Taylor - I talked to his foster mom tonight. She's like a grandma, she was so sweet. She said we're just going to fall in love with him. She said he eats every 4 hours, but only 2 ounces, or else he'll throw up. He's now just over 7 pounds. She said he has a temper - when he's hungry - he's hungry!! He wakes up from 3 - 5 am every night. As far as his cocaine withdrawls...he cried in his sleep, and he twitches and shakes when he's awake. The foster mom took him to be evaluated to see if they could give him something to help, but he slept the whole time, so they really couldn't evaluate him. We'll take him back. She said he claws at his face and eyes, so we'll need to keep mittens on his hands. She said for the most part, he's happy...smiles, coos - but does have crying outburst, which are part of his cocacine cravings. I could her him cry over the phone, it was the sweatest sound you could ever hear.

I can't wait!!

They ARE the Chosen Ones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The phone rang at 2:28 pm. I was sitting at my desk and saw that it was our SW's number. I was so scared - why was she calling so quickly? I thought they'd made a quick decision against us. But instead, she said, "I wanted to call and tell you right away that we just got out of a team meeting and we've decided to let the boys be placed with you." I just started crying. I told her thank you so much. She said that after looking at the parents' history, it may look like a future adoption situation after all, but to of course remember that reunification is always a possibility.

Right as I hung up the phone, Angela, our finance manager walked in and I just started bawling. "We got the boys" I screamed and she screamed and she ran and got Sue, and she screamed, and then I went down to hall to tell Julie and we all squealed and cried. (Oh yeah...I did call and tell Ken before I went shouting down the halls!! He was like "no way.") So then other staff that had no clue was coming out...what's going on? I told them we'd been trying to adopt/be foster parents and we just found out we're getting three...they were all happy and were like "we gotta have a baby shower!"

So a little later, the boys' SW called and said she wanted to be the one to tell me! I thanked her so much for everything. So the plan is....we get to see James and Nathanael this Wednesday for a supervised visit, then they get to spend the night with us next Friday, and then their SW will bring them to us on August 27th or 28th. Two weeks later, she will bring us the baby. That gives us a little tiime to get situated with the 2 older ones.

Taylor is now about 4 1/2 weeks old and has gone from 5 pds 2 ounces, to 7 pounds, 6 ounces. So he's eating well, which is great.

Our lives are about to change!!!

"You're Official, but..."

This morning I had a meeting in Fayetteville, which was over early, so on the way back to work I stopped at a thrift shop that I always see baby strollers out front. They had SO MUCH hardly used, nice baby stuff...cribs, high charis, boucy things, mobiles, etc.... The prices were not dirt cheap, but certainly better than buying brand new. I couldn't resist, they had the Winnie the Pooh bassinet that I wanted. It was like $135 at Wal-Mart, and this was $50 and looked barely used. I called Ken and asked him if I could get it, and he said sure...:)

Then this afternoon, we got the phone call today from our SW that our official foster parent license from the state came in!! Awesome! We have "the number". We are officially allowed to have Moore Co foster children placed with us! Ken and I were honestly starting to worry if there was a problem with our paperwork, so that is a relief.

BUT....after congratulating us, and calling me "sweetie" and telling me how glad she was that we were "her" foster home now, she told me that she got the request from Cumberland County. She said that her supervisor had a ton of questions....she said Cumberland County didn't tell them anything about the boys or the parents. Our SW said that Moore County would be liable if something happened to one of the boys while in our home, so they are really leary of doing that. Of course she said they'd do what was best for the boys...Cumberland Co DID tell her that they had no homes there that would take all three. My stomach dropped when she started telling me about all the reasons they would not approve it. she said "don't think about it, there's nothing you can do." Don't think about it?! Are you crazy?! She questioned our ability to take the boys and then have to give them back to their parents. I reminded her that we had been told from the very beginning that that is a possibility with ANY DSS child. Am I mentally prepared for that? No. How could you be? But it's a chance we take with any DSS kid, not just these three. Of course we would hope for adoption, but know that may not happen.

So Ken and I are happy about getting our license. I can't get it out of my mind that we're gonna get the boys...Ken has the opposite approach. He thinks they are going to deny it. He's got the better idea. If we don't get them, I'll be crushed, if we do get them. Ken will be pleasantly surprised.

So we sit by the phone and wait...

Formal Request

Yeah!! Finally!! I've been waiting for the phone to ring and checking my email constantly for the formal request for placement to go from Cumberland County to Moore County. It came today via email!! I don't know when it was actually sent to Moore County, but we got a copy of the letter today. It was dated last Friday though:) In addition to other things, it says, "...Currently, CCDSS has been unable to locate a foster family within our county to place the children together. The two older boys are residing with the maternal great grandmother and the infant is with a Cumberland County foster home. Due to unforeseen circumstances it has become necessary to move the two older boys from the maternal great grandmother. Please let me know at your earliest conveniences if Moore County DSS will permit placement of these children in the home of Ken and Meg Moss..."

I've been painting like crazy getting the boys' room ready. My stomach is doing flips, I'm so excited. Oh, Lord, if this is Your will...let it happen!

Waiting

The boys' SW said she'd have an email sent by Thursday to our SW and us stating their intentions of placing the boys with us. As of Friday afternoon, no letter. I called and she said she was really sorry that she had not gotten to it yet, she had been really busy, which I can totally understand. A lot of the wiating is overworked social workers!

In the meantime, we are doing things like painting the boys' bedroom (two shades of green - crocadile tears and rolling meadows), and I am refinishing an old credenza (we bougth it a few years ago at a thrift shop for about $20. Ken was using it for files, etc) to be used as a changing table and dresser. The wood was a dark stain. I sanded it down, painted it high gloss white and painted the old brass hardware a shiny, retro silver. I boought a $2.00 chandelier at a thrift shop and spiffed it up with high gloss silver also. It's going to look good once we finish!

Small town and an unbroken arm

Yes, it's true Sanford is a small place. Ken's Aunt Brenda is in the hospital, and she is sharing a room with....follow me now: James and Nathanael's aunt's boyfriend's mother. The aunt's boyfriend is the one who knew we were trying to adopt, so when the boys came into the aunt's care, the boyfriend contacted us....so anyway... Aunt Brenda overheard the boyfriend and his mom talking about how they had to bring James to the emergancy room last night because they thought he had broken his arm. Luckily, it was just badly bruised. Of course I have no other details than that, but I just pray that the boys are safe until we (hopefully) get them!

Update

I can't beleive it - the boys' SW called us at 8:00 tonight. After 5:01 pm, I thought we wouldn't hear anything. She had good news - her supervisor and manager approved us getting the boys. One hurdle to go! Moore County has to let them place Cumberland Co kids with us. The boys' SW is sending a letter to our SW and cc'ing us stating their intent to place in our home. One other thing holding us up is that the state has not issued our license number, but the boys' SW is going to call about that this week too.

She told me that once Moore Co approves the placement, and we get our number, she will set up a visitation for us with James and Nathanael. Then J&N will be placed with us for 2 weeks before getting Taylor. The SW thought this would be best because J&N are SO hyper and will need to time to get settled in.

Potentially exciting!!!

Beleive

Okay, now that I've been able to vent, get some sleep, and pray on it, I am doing what pastor Jeff preached on - Ken and I are just going to put our faith in God abd BELEIVE!! God blesses the beleiveers. One story in the bible talks about Jesus stopped doing miracles in one city because they had no faith. Faith is beleiving in what you can't see . We do have faith that God knows what is best for us, and what children are meant to be ours. We've prayed for the right child(ren) and only God knows who they are.

The Ups and Downs

Well, we got a call from our SW today. The boys have a SW, and we have a separate one. The boys SW is in Cumberland Co, ours is Moore County (where we live). To make a long story short, we took all our MAPP classes in Lee Co (where we both work) bc it was more convenient. Our SW there was great...she took so much time with us and answered all our questions and met our parents, etc... Then we had to transfer the paperwork to Moore Co, since we live here. All our SW had to do here was visit us twice and send in our paperwork to the state (which she was late in doing). She didn't even go over our packet of paperwork, she had us write a summary for her, which basically was her report.

Anyway...our SW called me today asking what was going on with the boys. I told her the boys' SW said that she was recommending us to her supervisor. Well, our SW said that might be a problem bc Moore Co is in need of foster homes (ok then, why don't we have a kid?) and they really didn't want Cumberland Co to take one of Moore Co's homes since Moore Co did all the work!! Can you beleive that?!?! How is that taking the boys' needs into consideration?!?! Cumberland Co said they dont have a home that will take all three. The one child our SW has approached us about 3 times is a child we do not feel is right for our situation...so why is she trying to push this one child on us that we know won't work? It's all crazy beaurocracy (sp?) and our SW has just been in the system too long - she flat out asked me why I would take 6 weeks off work for these boys knowing they would go back to their real parents...we don't know that, and neither does she.

Uncertainty

This "not knowing for sure" thing is driving me crazy! The social worker told us not to buy anything for the boys, but to go ahead and look into daycares...so that tells me to "get excited", but "not TOO excited." I couldn't deal with it, so I called her today (I promised I would not call her everyday!) and asked if she got to talk to her supervisor this morning, and she said yes and that his only concern was whether Moore County was really okay with Cumberland Co placing children into Moore County. All I have to say is, if our social worker in Moore County screws us...I will be so mad!! I really like the SW from Cumberland....she really seems to have the boys' best interest at heart. Waiting, waiting, waiting...

James

Here's James! At 2 1/2 years old - he's a big boy! It's hard to beleive they are biological brothers. Their mother is caucasian, and their father is a Lumbee Indian, which is a tribe here in NC. Result: Beautiful babies!

Nathanael

This is Nathanael, who is 19 months old. We got to meet the boys at a pool party and spend about an hour with them.

Prayers Answered times THREE?!?

It's been over a year in the making...us becoming foster parents! It FINALLY looks promising that we may get not one, not two, but three little boys!! The brothers are ages 2 1/2 years, 18 months and 20 days old. Their social worker told us today that she is recommending to her supervisor that they all be placed with us in foster care. Our ultimate goal is adption, but of course there is no guarentee. We will love them to peices for as long as we do have them though! their names are James, Nathanael and Talyor. We'll post again when we know for sure!